Trumpty Dumpty RSVPs His Inaugural Invite

Trumpty Dumpty Sworn in by Chief Justice John Roberts Jaunary 20, 2017

January 19, 2021 

The Honorable President-Elect Joseph Biden 

Greenville, Delaware 

Dear President-Elect Biden: President Trumpty Dumpty has asked me to write you in response to your invitation. The President regrets to inform you that he will not be able to attend your inauguration tomorrow, due to a previously scheduled golf date. He will be teed off just as you’re scheduled to be sworn in. As you know the golf schedule of a lame duck can be very crowded particularly because of the need to do so much last minute pardoning in the middle of a pandemic. He did want me to communicate to you that he still thinks  the election was rigged. He won’t concede until all avenues have been exhausted. In the meanwhile, he wants you to know that your inauguration is fake news and that you're a fraidy cat with all your talk of masks and social distancing. As President Trumpty Dumpty has said: "That's all I hear about now. Turn on TV, 'Covid, Covid, Covid, Covid. 'A plane goes down, 500 people dead, they don't talk about it." "Fraidy Joe" is what he's going to call you from now on. 

 Respectfully, Kayleigh McEniny, Press Secretary