Monday, February 6, 2017

Sperm Count: Twatter

Everybody knows Twitter, the social network. As they used to say Grand Union always opens opposite an A&P and one wonders why there’s no Twatter. As far as social networking is concerned Twatter could be a major site, offering people a lot of twat. Twatter could be a place that encourages the ultimate in free expression since twat is a pejorative for a female secondary sex characteristic that's also called snatch, though Snatcher neither rolls of the tongue as well, nor exudes the associations of twitter whose 140 character missives have opened up new worlds of brevity. Twatter would say it all and without even the need for characters. But how would it actually work?  If the number of men and women in the world is almost equal, Twatter would provide a venue where at least one half of the population could show their goods. Underneath all social networking is the threat or enticement of sexual contact and Twatter would be the most bold-faced of the offerings in cyberspace. Your only qualification for being able to post would be to have one and once you were on, you would be home free, though males would be able to friend their favorite twats. Gone would be the headshots that you find on most dating sites. Put up or shut up, Twatter would live up to its name and give twat it's place in the sun.

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