Pornosophy: A Baker Whose Behavior Takes the Cake

erotic cake from Isabella’s Creations

The headline read “Colorado Court Rules Against Baker Who Refused to Serve Same-Sex Couples,” (NYT, 8/13/15) According to the Times, the case revolved around the idea that “a baker could not cite religious beliefs in refusing to make wedding cakes for same sex-couples.” The case itself opens many esoteric questions both about law and baking. For instance, how would the same baker have felt about tarts? And would he have been further motivated if the potential tart eaters who might also be same-sex couples swore under oath that they had no intention of getting married, but were simply having a good time? If you Google Erotic Bakery, NYC, www.cakes3.com you will come to a baker who advertises “penis cakes, vagina cakes and more.” But even though the Colorado case may have opened up some doors, same-sex couples might be a little trigger shy. What if you decide you want a good old fashioned chocolate layer penis cake with the inscription “Bob and Tom, to Honor and Obey.” Is it possible that your local erotic baker is a fundamentalist Christian and that you will have to file a legal suit to get your cake delivered on time for the festivity? Remember those delicious vagina cakes grandma used to make? What if Virginia and Alice order one with a banana cream topping and the inscription “till death do you part.” Will they need to get a court order to release their cake, if your baker is a member of some religious order that disapproves of same sex marriage? If you get the court order and the inscription has dripped all over the place and is practically indecipherable by the time, it finally arrives, do you have a right to sue or the very least to get a refund? Yes the Supreme Court ruled in favor of same-sex marriage, but there is always going to be a baker, butcher or candlestick maker, whose behavior takes the cake.

Pornosophy: Pitch and Putt

Our current sexual zeitgeist is predicated on the notion that there can be purity of sexual intention. The advent of the “affirmative consent” law in California is only one example of the notion that there’s a sensibility governing an individual's sex drive. If this were really true however, then neither the sex nor any of the other physical traits governing attraction would be relevant when choosing a love object. However, empirical evidence points to the opposite being the case. Human beings are gonadally driven. They aren’t attracted necessarily to what someone is saying or thinking or feeling. These are just the icing on the secondary sex characteristics cake. Sure a nimbus of idealization allows desire to negotiate the shoals of consciousness--though it's fundamentally the palette of organs that makes the prospect of coitus, fellatio or any other sexual activity enticing. Some women like penises, others prefer to be penetrated by a dildo and still others prefer the pleasure of both giving and receiving cunnilingus. Some men love to thrust their penises into a warm vagina while others like having a penis in their ass or mouth. In one sense the human body is like one of those pitch and putt golf courses to the extent that it offers only three holes with little room for bogeys. Asses, penises and breasts are what makes Sammy or Samantha run. Civilization has created the notion of love as a rationalization for its own animal nature. Denis de Rougement wrote a book called Love in the Western World. But at the end of the day, humans are nothing more than animals who happen to be capable of thought.

Pornosophy: If it Fucks Like A Bunny, Is it a Rabbit?

Are gay men revolted by the sight of the vagina or merely indifferent to it? If gay women don’t like penises why are dildos a common sex toy in lesbian porn? Much has been written on the psychodynamics and also the genetics of both gay and so-called straight sex. Classical Freudian therapy looked at homosexuality as an oedipal matter while a major agenda of same sexists is that it is not a neurosis or psychological condition but something one is born with, say the way one has male secondary sex characteristics with xy chromosomes while those with female secondary sex characteristics are born with xx chromosomes. Still it would be revealing to learn what really turns people of different sexual persuasions (including so-called heterosexuals) on and it would be even more interesting to see the overlaps. Do gay women fetishistically objectify their partners? Do they ogle the parade of tits and ass like some men do on the street? Are there men with the sensibility of women who love other women or women who experiences the feeling states of men who love other men? Many boys grow up dreaming about naked women, but then one day in the locker room they are shocked to find themselves staring at a penis with longing. What brings about these kinds of changes?  Masters of Sex, the HBO series based on the famed sex researchers Masters and Johnson underlines how primitive the knowledge of sex was and continues to be. Sex is still a taboo. Advertisements for drugs like Cialis and Viagra boast huge statistics for those suffering from ED. But have you heard any men talking about it? Do we really know what makes homosexuals, heterosexuals and those in between (trannies) feel the way they do? We're armed with categories and preconceptions, but what’s the truth? If it fucks like bunny, is it really a rabbit? 

Ecole de Nettoyage

Nettoyage is a French word that refers to house cleaning, but the modern école de nettoyage, which grants terminal degrees in house cleaning, generally has a school of continuing ed where you can attend non-credit courses on relieving oneself. Wouldn’t it be great to feel the next time you use an airport bathroom that you will know your way around the faucets, and the next time you hit a rest stop on the thruway you won’t feel that you need to worry about your husband or wife accusing you of having an illicit relationship when you contract an STD from the fowl waters shooting up into your asshole, vagina or penis? Have you ever gone into a bathroom at one of the airports and stuck your hand under the electric-eye controlled soap dispenser? Have you ever then stuck your hand under the electric-eye controlled water faucet to no avail? Have there ever been instances where neither the soap nor the water has come out, no matter how frantically you have waved your hand under the dispensers or faucets? Have you ever gone into a stall on The New York State Thruway and found that the electric-eye controlled flusher flushes while you are still sitting so that the unfriendly waters in the drain shoot up into your orifices? Have you ever been in one of those futuristic affairs where there are no electric eyes, but at the same time no recognizable soap, water or paper towel dispensers? Have you just had to go on your nerve in these strange bathrooms and has it ever seemed to you, once you have entered such an environment, that you are never going to be able cleanse yourself or even go to the bathroom to begin with? In today’s modern world, it is becoming increasingly necessary to attend an école de nettoyage.