Pornosophy: A Baker Whose Behavior Takes the Cake

erotic cake from Isabella’s Creations

The headline read “Colorado Court Rules Against Baker Who Refused to Serve Same-Sex Couples,” (NYT, 8/13/15) According to the Times, the case revolved around the idea that “a baker could not cite religious beliefs in refusing to make wedding cakes for same sex-couples.” The case itself opens many esoteric questions both about law and baking. For instance, how would the same baker have felt about tarts? And would he have been further motivated if the potential tart eaters who might also be same-sex couples swore under oath that they had no intention of getting married, but were simply having a good time? If you Google Erotic Bakery, NYC, www.cakes3.com you will come to a baker who advertises “penis cakes, vagina cakes and more.” But even though the Colorado case may have opened up some doors, same-sex couples might be a little trigger shy. What if you decide you want a good old fashioned chocolate layer penis cake with the inscription “Bob and Tom, to Honor and Obey.” Is it possible that your local erotic baker is a fundamentalist Christian and that you will have to file a legal suit to get your cake delivered on time for the festivity? Remember those delicious vagina cakes grandma used to make? What if Virginia and Alice order one with a banana cream topping and the inscription “till death do you part.” Will they need to get a court order to release their cake, if your baker is a member of some religious order that disapproves of same sex marriage? If you get the court order and the inscription has dripped all over the place and is practically indecipherable by the time, it finally arrives, do you have a right to sue or the very least to get a refund? Yes the Supreme Court ruled in favor of same-sex marriage, but there is always going to be a baker, butcher or candlestick maker, whose behavior takes the cake.

Must Familiarity Breed Contempt?

posterior of rectum and anus, plate 1077 Gray’s Anatomy (drawing by Henry Vandyke Carter)

Familiarity breeds contempt, but is that really true? Familiarity can become a wonderfully reticulated universe where you have the opportunity of making in depth explorations of both the physical and mental topography of the human being that is most proximate to you. Men especially obsess about morphology, body parts and often invidiously talk about a missing element in a partner. They married a brunette, but they have always liked red heads. They are going out with a girl who shaves her armpits, but have always wanted to hook up with one who’s dyed her underarm hair purple. They're going out with a girl who has breasts the size of oranges when they have always wanted to date a girl with breasts the size of lemons or one who applies lemon juice to them as Susan Sarandon did in Atlantic City. Gay men may wonder if they should have found a partner with a bigger dick or asshole. But let’s put all this to the side and return to the subject of quotidian life where you have already made your commitment, even “until death do us part.” There’s no reason to feel that you're being deprived or missing out. There are endless interesting things to learn about a partner. About their hairline, their gluteus maximus, the digits of their hands, yes the shape and size of their penis or vagina, the structure of their skull and the way in their case it accompanies a superior prefrontal cortex. You may even learn some other things that are not necessarily so flattering or enjoyable to consider—like the fact that he or she may be cheating on you.

Pornosophy: The Rising Moon

The Human Penis (Henry Vandyke Carter)

The latest in autoerotic Tantric Sexuality for men derives from a centuries old posture of Cunnilingua Yoga called "The Rising Moon." You take off all your clothes as this exercise must be done totally nude in order to achieve a happy ending. If your matt is rolled up, unroll it and lay it carefully on the floor of the Yoga studio. Straighten one leg and hold it up in the air with you hand behind your knee, fold it over your chest and look in the opposite direction. Do the same with the other leg and break a leg! Ha ha. Now you are ready to begin your “ Rising Moon." Take several breathes in and release. Do this again. Then start to relax your mind, remembering back until you recall particularly juicy memories of sexual encounters which begin to make your penis grow hard. Once your penis is hard, swing it to the left (without straining), then swing it right. Now, slowly raise your legs up in the air and allow them to swing over your head so that your behind is off the matt and your testicles are now dangling against your hara or center. Complete the motion so that your toes hit the floor and the head or glans of your hardened penis rests gently against your own lips. While gently releasing your hip flexors allow your penis to enter your open mouth. Lick your penis with your tongue and then gently hold it in place by creating a suction. Move your mouth up and down your glans. Then gently engage the shaft. Think I am giving this gift of love to myself as you complete your Rising Moon.

Pornosophy: Pitch and Putt

Our current sexual zeitgeist is predicated on the notion that there can be purity of sexual intention. The advent of the “affirmative consent” law in California is only one example of the notion that there’s a sensibility governing an individual's sex drive. If this were really true however, then neither the sex nor any of the other physical traits governing attraction would be relevant when choosing a love object. However, empirical evidence points to the opposite being the case. Human beings are gonadally driven. They aren’t attracted necessarily to what someone is saying or thinking or feeling. These are just the icing on the secondary sex characteristics cake. Sure a nimbus of idealization allows desire to negotiate the shoals of consciousness--though it's fundamentally the palette of organs that makes the prospect of coitus, fellatio or any other sexual activity enticing. Some women like penises, others prefer to be penetrated by a dildo and still others prefer the pleasure of both giving and receiving cunnilingus. Some men love to thrust their penises into a warm vagina while others like having a penis in their ass or mouth. In one sense the human body is like one of those pitch and putt golf courses to the extent that it offers only three holes with little room for bogeys. Asses, penises and breasts are what makes Sammy or Samantha run. Civilization has created the notion of love as a rationalization for its own animal nature. Denis de Rougement wrote a book called Love in the Western World. But at the end of the day, humans are nothing more than animals who happen to be capable of thought.

Pornosophy: If it Fucks Like A Bunny, Is it a Rabbit?

Are gay men revolted by the sight of the vagina or merely indifferent to it? If gay women don’t like penises why are dildos a common sex toy in lesbian porn? Much has been written on the psychodynamics and also the genetics of both gay and so-called straight sex. Classical Freudian therapy looked at homosexuality as an oedipal matter while a major agenda of same sexists is that it is not a neurosis or psychological condition but something one is born with, say the way one has male secondary sex characteristics with xy chromosomes while those with female secondary sex characteristics are born with xx chromosomes. Still it would be revealing to learn what really turns people of different sexual persuasions (including so-called heterosexuals) on and it would be even more interesting to see the overlaps. Do gay women fetishistically objectify their partners? Do they ogle the parade of tits and ass like some men do on the street? Are there men with the sensibility of women who love other women or women who experiences the feeling states of men who love other men? Many boys grow up dreaming about naked women, but then one day in the locker room they are shocked to find themselves staring at a penis with longing. What brings about these kinds of changes?  Masters of Sex, the HBO series based on the famed sex researchers Masters and Johnson underlines how primitive the knowledge of sex was and continues to be. Sex is still a taboo. Advertisements for drugs like Cialis and Viagra boast huge statistics for those suffering from ED. But have you heard any men talking about it? Do we really know what makes homosexuals, heterosexuals and those in between (trannies) feel the way they do? We're armed with categories and preconceptions, but what’s the truth? If it fucks like bunny, is it really a rabbit?