Wednesday, September 22, 2021

Dear CDC Administrator


Dear CDC Administrator:

I'm a polyamorous non-binary and recently sexually reassigned. I wish to be addressed as “thou.” You are I and I and Thou. I wish to know how Thou will react to the Stimulus. I am triggered by the title of the medieval play Everyman and just thinking about my question which is to ask: do I have to wear a mask and remain socially distant (and maintain a faraway or simply insouciant look) or just distanced, if I am in an ongoing open relationship with five partners or more? Also, can I use hydroxychloroquine on my dental dam after I have thoroughly sterilized my anal plug with bleach? I would would like to know the CDC guidelines if I am dealing with the issues stated above when I am approaching the event horizon of a black hole. I'm also a free-lance writer who would like to know the status of Thou (My) femdom submission which is on-going and which was placed in a SASE soon after my SRS surgery. Thou (Me) would appreciate your (Oy) attention to this matter. Now here are a few other questions that have crossed my mind in the light of the news conference in which CDC director Rochelle Walensky outlined the new guidelines. Hypothetical #1. Thou and Thou’s non-binary partner (who will be hitherto referred to as “sincerely yours”) have been attending a library “science” conference in Utica, relieved by the fact that we will again be using LCC (Library of Congress) or DDC (Dewey Decimal) classifications after a period in which I and Thou were told to swallow bleach. Now let’s say Thou (Me) and You (I) are both vaccinated, one with the Pfizer and the other with the Moderna. And let’s say we wish to practice polyamory with a person of indeterminate sexual identity or social position who’s also suffering from the Capgras Syndrome, the neurological disorder in which one believes that an imposter occupies the body of a familiar person. Thou may also suffer from prosopagnosia in which there’s an inability to distinguish one face from another which will further complicate your determination of who Thou wants to sleep with and whether a mask and social distance are necessary before Thou (Me) or I (You) practice safe sex. I hope I/m not being long-winded but I did have a couple of other questions which pertain to Bosons that were supposedly liberated in the LHC Large Hadron Collider near Geneva. Let’s say I’m a supernova and I don’t want to run the danger of being turned into just another cosmic sinkhole. Thou know what I’m talking about! Let’s say it’s 13.8 billion years ago and it’s the Big Bang and before that is just an ether and nothingness. There’s no cosmic real estate and no Kepler 452,1402 light years from earth. Now I’ve lost my chain of thought. What was I going to say? 

Read "MAGA and the Coronavirus" by Francis Levy, The East Hampton Star

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