Diasporic Dining: The Hungry-Person Selects

Hungry-Man Fried Chicken Selects (photo: Francis Levy)

What's the ideal dish for a catastrophe or even pandemic? What combines the good old days with the innocence of childhood and the memory of a time when brand names were friendly. Remember the Jolly Green Giant and Johnny Roventini, the Philip Morris bellboy with his "call for Philip Morris" (in the days before cigarette smoking was deemed tantamount to suicide)? Remember when you associated Johnson & Johnson with babies (and before there was evidence that their baby powder may have contained asbestos "Johnson&Johnson knew for decades that asbestos lurked in its Baby Powder,"Reuters, 12/14/18)? Remember Esso’s “put a tiger in your tank!” Well sorry H. Rap Brown, but violence isn’t as American as cherry pie.” It’s as American as a TV dinner. If you not sure what the future holds, then there is nothing more comforting than the Hungry-Man Fried Chicken Selects--which also happens to be immune to the problems of meat processing plants closing down since it's frozen. With its little compartments devoted to the main dish, corn, potatoes and even a brownie dessert, you feel totally safe and protected. It's just one step away from the security of asking for separate checks when you go out for dinner with some free spenders. If you’ve ever seen one, you’ll understand that the very design is a like a medieval castle with its moat. It’s going to be exceedingly difficult for anyone to lean over and steal your food. Your piping hot portions sit right before you in  easily defensible spaces and you don’t have to worry about someone hogging the way they do when they keep the platter of meat or the bowl of mashed potatoes on their side of the table. Even the politically incorrect name is somehow reassuring—though watch out Hungry-Man is likely to be putting out a line of Hungry-Person meals aimed at the "affirmative consent" crowd.