The Final Solution: What Endearment Will Donald Trump Use For Kim Jong-un?

sketch of Kim Jong-un ( User P388388 on Wikipedia Commons)

Donald Trump has said that he will talk to Kim Jong-un ("Donald Trump would speak with North Korea's Kim Jong un," CNN, 5/18/16). But what will he say? Will he call him “Mr. Piggy” and attack him for his weight the way he did Alicia Machado, the Miss Universe winner (“Shamed and Angry: Alicia Machado, A Miss Universe Mocked By Donald Trump,” NYT, 9/27/16). Will he accompany Kim Jong-un to the gym so that reporters can watch him try to lose his front porch through exercise? And what about the hair? Will the pot call the kettle black? Donald Trump’s famous blow dry used car salesman look has been immortalized by Alec Baldwin on SNL, but will he still go after Kim Jong-un's special do, which looks a little like the helmet worn by Pat O’Brien in Knut Rockne: All American (l940) You had “Crooked Hillary,”  “Little Marco” and “Lying Ted,” but what words is he going to use to disarm competitors like Vladimir Putin and Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi? What is going to be his soubriquet for the liberal Pope Francis, "Francis the talking mule?" Now that so many of Trump’s rivals have fallen to the wayside, these slurs begin to sound like endearments and you could see the nicknames beginning to stick in a good way. But getting back to the North Korean leader, what’s Trump really going to call him, Tubby? And will "Tubby Kim," "Crooked Hillary," "Little Marco," and "Lying Ted" all find themselves contestants on the new Apprentice: Gold Plated Edition which is auditioning in the now magical elevator bank in the lobby of Trump Tower?