|photograph: Dominique James|
The election of Donald J. Trump will affect some graduate and undergraduate programs across the country. The Cornell School of Hotel Administration has changed it’s named to the Cornell School of Hotel Administration and International Relations. The Wharton School (which President Trump attended) will now be called The Wharton School of International Affairs. Harvard’s John F. Kennedy School of Government has announced that it will simply call itself the John F. Kennedy School of Business. The Trump victory will also result in some prominent hotel chains changing their names. The Hilton Hotel Chain will now be known as the Hilton Hotel Chain of Public Affairs and there are rumors that Paris Hilton will take over as CEO. The luxury part of the Marriott Hotel empire, JW Marriott will henceforth be rebranded as the JW Marriott Oval, The Four Seasons will change it’s name to Springtime For Hitler. Fearing a backlash against open trade with the East, the Mandarin Orient is simply planning to sell all its hotels to the Trump organization who will rename them Trump Mandarin Orients. The newly opened Trump International Hotel in Washington D.C. is one of the few hotels that has indicated there will be no name change in the light of recent elections. A few changes will be occurring right in our nation's capital. The White House will henceforth be called The Trump White House, The Washington Monument will be renamed the Trump Monument and the former Lincoln Memorial will be named after Donald Trump’s father Fred. In New York, the Statue of Liberty is being taken down for fear that it will be an invitation to immigration and also because Lady Liberty was one of the women who accused President elect Trump of groping. The 9/11 Memorial Museum will also be demolished (a hotel will be built on the site) as a sign of respect to President Trump who has expressed his dislike for losers, which include victims of terrorist attacks who should have known better and former POW's like Senator John McCain--who shouldn't have allowed themselves to get captured in the first place.