Rants and reactions to contemporary politics, art and culture.
Friday, July 22, 2016
Sperm Count: Inaugurating The White House Bed
master bedroom of The White House in 1963 (Kennedy Library)
Can you imagine what it must be like to have made it to
President? You’ve been inaugurated and you’re going to spend the first night in
The White House. If you’re Hillary or some future female president of the
United States you’re probably thinking about the political correctness of the
leader of the free world getting fucked on this important night, or any night
for that matter. If you’re married to the president you run the chance of being
fucked for the first time in The White House by the leader of the free world
and that’s bound to be one of the great thrills, equivalent say to partaking of
a delicacy like Fugu. If say you’re Melania Trump you’re probably thinking of the
teddy you might be wearing to entice The Donald. If you’re Bill, you might be
asking yourself how the tables
will be turned and how the changes in roles is going to affect your love life.
Michele and Barack have always seemed to be a loving couple and like with any
of the couples you like and admire you can’t help thinking about frequency,
e.g. how often they get it on. Actually a well balanced couple with a seemingly
perfect relationship is a hard act to follow whether they occupy The White House, a house in Chappaqua or Mar-a-Lago but few people realize that along with
international and domestic policy, every new couple who enter The White House
actually has to live up to the standards set by their predecessor. John and
Jackie, for instance, were following in the footsteps of Ike and Mamie, just
as Pat and Richard had big shoes to fill when they followed Lyndon and Lady
Bird. How hot will it be in the winner’s circle after this hotly contested
Francis Levy's debut novel, Erotomania: A Romance, was released in August 2008 by Two Dollar Radio.
His short stories, criticism, humor, and poetry have appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The New Republic, The Village Voice, The East Hampton Star, The Quarterly, Penthouse, Architectural Digest, TV Guide, The Journal of Irreproducible Results, and other publications. One of his Voice humor pieces was anthologized in The Big Book of New American Humor (HarperCollins). He is presently the Co-Director of The Philoctetes Center for the Multidisciplinary Study of Imagination (philoctetes.org), where he supervises roundtable discussions on topics as varied as “The Psychology of the Modern Nation State” and “Modern Traffic Theory, Behavior, and Imagination”.