Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Ride Into the Sunset

A SunSetter Retractable Awning
In between coverage of the murders of the policeman in Dallas, CNN ran commercials for Sunsetter Retractable Awnings. In the commercials a couple appears to have found a exemplary level of happiness on their patio with this new covering, the least expensive model of which is advertised at the relatively reasonable sounding price of $1529, a $200 discount on the $1729 usually charged for awning made with Traditional Laminated Fabric. Equally happy looking couples inhabit the Cialis commercials, but if you have your choice between the two virtual realities you’re probably going to want to live in that of the SunSetter. Look you can always take some Cialis once you’re sitting comfortably under your new awning. Chris Cuomo interviewed Chuck D of Public Enemy fame who said, "We want our people growing into their 30's and 40's to turn from being dynamite into dynamic." Hopefully, the SunSetter will spawn such growth? Snipers may be shooting from rooftops, but once you go home to your SunSetter awning then the hell with everyone. You’re going to barbecue your heart out without having to worry about getting cancer. Unlike some of the pharmaceutical ads, the TV spots for SunSetter don’t come with the usual stipulations read a mile a minute about possibly deleterious effects for those suffering from certain ailments, though if you increase your barbecuing and end up consuming more hotdogs, you’re likely to increase your intake of nitrites. The best part of having a SunSetter retractable awning is that you’re not likely to find yourself stopped by the police (since you won’t be on the road), or by demonstrators against the police which can cause you to get stuck in traffic.

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