Thursday, April 29, 2021

The Ethicist: Stalker Not Wannabee

poster for Andrei Tarkovsky's Stalker (1979)

Dear Ethicist: Thanking you in advance for your prompt attention to this matter. As I enter this third trimester of my existence, I can barely disguise my impatience with the slow responses to my requests which are on the verge of becoming demands. For instance, do I have a right to make ultimatums to prospects I don’t know and who don’t know me? Do I have the right to assume an intimate relation to a stranger who is not forthcoming and even ask them if they will attend a session with my relationships counselor even if they have never met me or expressed an interested in my existence? A young man may make overtures to a girl, but if she’s not interested and he continues, he is stalking. Is that what I have become, a stalker? I suppose I’m having a problem with boundaries. Where do I end and other people begin? Do you know?


Stalker Not Wannabee



Dear Stalker Not Wannabee: You should assume that someone who doesn’t return your calls or e mails is not interested in you, until you receive evidence to the contrary. The whole world doesn’t revolve around you. People have their own agendas, one of which is survival, economically at least. If some prospect doesn’t express interest in you, it doesn’t mean you aren’t desirable. All it indicates is that you’re not a hot property. When you’re a hot property, you know it since everyone wants you and you’re likely to become the one who’s being harassed.



Stalker Wannabee: Oh, I get it.

Read "Pornosophy: Forbidden Fruit" by Francis Levy, HuffPost

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