Thursday, November 9, 2017

I See BM

Titan II launch (photo: U.S. DoD)
“See you later” is now “c u later” as a text. ICBM’s have been around for a long time and before anyone had even heard of texting, but electronic devices propose their own paradigms. ICBM, when converted back into its pre-textological format, is really “I see BM.” Of course ICBM refers to intercontinental ballistic missiles that have nothing to do with the act of seeing bowel movements. But when you think about it an ICBM, with its long spherical shape, taking off in a blustery cloud that could be mistaken for flatulence, really looks like an enormous shit. So before tweeting your next protest against the proliferation of nuclear arms, it almost makes more sense to use the pre-textological format of “I see BM.” The missile which the North Koreans recently launched over Japan and all its brethren are really like big shits that are out to wreak carnage on the world. “Make love not war” was the slogan that peaceniks chanted in the 60’s, but why not fight fire with doody. Instead of fitting a rocket with a nuclear bomb, why not create an enormous flying shit that gets lobb ed right back over Pyongyang every time Kim Jong-un tries to test the waters. Unprocessed waste is much easier to get your hands on then weapons grade plutonium or fissible hydrogen and a huge bomb that simply covers everyone in feces and makes them all gag and vomit could be one way to end the nuclear arms race.

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