Friday, August 4, 2017

What Your Paid Obit Tells You

skeletons of human and horse in the Australian Museum (photo: Hibernian)
You tend to read the obits of those who have excelled in their fields or celebs, but it’s also fun to peruse the paid obits, which are put in by the families of average and not so average Joe’s and Jills. Some of these are even more involved and if the family can afford it longer than the newsworthy obits. You’ll read about how beloved Poppsie was and how she grew up in Westport and learned how to play golf and tennis in Greenwich, or about how Dirk founded his local Catskill flyfishing club. You’ll learn about how Edith majored in French and will be sorely missed by her family and friends. Reading between the lines you will note that she was a divorcee since no husband is mentioned besides the fact that she has children. Sometimes the paid obit is filled with so many accomplishments that you wonder why The Times neglected to do a story on him or her. You see a picture of an absolutely ravishing looking woman, who apparently was born in France and studied with some of the major names in deconstruction at The Sorbonne, amongst other places. You note that she then married a rich American. You know this since her husband who survives her runs a hedge fund and the paid obit was placed by charities x, y and z. In this sense this sense the paid obit can be like a financial disclosure form. Donald Trump will undoubtedly earn a regular obit, in addition to receiving many paid ones from purveyors, but it will be the paid obits that’ll reveal the nature of the business connections he had been trying to conceal all these years when he has not furnished tax returns.

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