Wednesday, August 16, 2017

The Final Solution: Kim Jong-un Salons

Know the chain of French hair salons, Jean-Claude Biguine?  Why not start a whole line of boutiques called simply Kim Jong-un which would specialize in--you guessed it--a complete KJu makeover. You would get the little curl in front and shaved sides. Your face would be pudged up with botox. You'd be attired in the DPRK style Mao jacket and don’t forget those spiffy winter coats with their fur collars. No KJu makeover would be complete without a little midriff bulge and that's supplied by the same plastic surgical wizardry and that has resulted in so many successful breast and penile enhancements and vaginoplasties—now produced with the kind of economy of scale that allows your local KJu to pass the savings on to you. No KJu session would be complete without a motivational speaker and those who get a makeover will walk out talking as well as looking like the Supreme Leader. Recently a London jogger crashed into a pedestrian causing her to fall in the way of an oncoming bus ("Police hunt man who knocked woman in front of London bus,"CNN, 8/8/17) The jogger then returned from his run and seeing his victim refused once again to stop. Just the kind of person Kim Jong-un Salons will be looking for. Imagine not just posters but Kim Jong-un clones everywhere you go. That’s what will occur when KJu LLP gets off the ground.

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