On Being Waitlisted

Are you one of those people who’s annoyed being waitlisted at all the good cemeteries, where you get the kind of crowd you'd want to spend eternity with? Of course during the Pandemic when funeral homes were flooded and in violation of those red  "Maximum Occupancy Not to Exceed.." signs, it was understandable that you’d have to line yourself up or wait for your pager to flash when your plot was ready. But the world has gone through a sea change in a relatively short period of time. In this new era of human history, demand exceeds the supply for headstones, which are harder to find locate than an apartment in Park Slope. Of course if you're the kind of person who likes to paddle against the current and is adverse to trends you’re not going to play ball. You’ll simply head down to the local crematorium when it’s your time and then have your wife or partner toss your urn off the Brooklyn Bridge. However, if you're "dead set" on a plot, you're going to have to plot. Try Sotheby’s or another of the high end brokers. They can work wonders in satisfying your requirements when it comes to crypts, mausoleums or even a simple landscaped graves. You can die in peace, knowing there's life after death.

read "Obit." by Francis Levy, HuffPost

and once again listen to "Bang Bang" by Joe Cuba