Wednesday, October 2, 2019

"Teen Activist Signs With Penguin"

PW announced that Greta (“we will never forgive you”) Thunberg just signed a two book deal with Penguin. “Teen Activist Signs With Penguin” was the headline in 9/30 “Deals” section. Doesn’t Thunberg realize that her contract will result in the loss of quite a few trees? There's been talk about the pig-tailed teenager getting a Nobel (she's already been honored with "the Alternative Nobel," known as The Right Livelihood Award).The question is, in what? Sanctimony? Thunberg is really part of a new class of Untouchables, not because of her caste but because don’t go there. The two books according to PW are No One Is Too Small to Make a Difference, which comprises her speeches and Our House Is on Fire, a collaboration with her family. If you can remember back to your high school days, there were these impossibly good kids who didn’t, to quote Woody Allen, cheat "on the metaphysics exam"by looking "into the soul of the boy sitting next to me." The sole purpose of this species of student was to make the normal run of the mill masturbating miscreant like yourself feel like shit. While they were trying to save the world you were slam dunking wads of wet toilet paper over a bathroom stall and then heading for the hills before coming a cropper at the hands of the hall monitor. It would be refreshing if the person who was attempting to save the world were a scumbag rather than Pippi Longstocking. What ever happened to I Was a Teenaged Frankenstein. Nobody wants the kind of adolescent who is a vaping chimney, but with the bar set so high, how is Thunberg going to sow her oats?

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