"Oedipus and the Sphinx" by Gustave Moreau |
Are you tired of girls asking what’s wrong? Do your passionate embraces often fizzle? Do you find yourself blaming women when you’re having a problem? Does your proud package look like two wilted Brussels sprouts and rotted carrot? Oedipus killed his father and slept his mother? If you murdered your father you’d be serving time. So maybe you just slept with your mother. Though not a capital crime like murder, not advisable either. Even worse maybe you were like Hamlet. Maybe you just wanted to kill your father and sleep with your mother and that’s what’s holding up the show. You’re so afraid of what might happen that you can’t do anything. Classical Freudian therapy, 4 days a week on the couch is one approach or if you have that kind of money you might as well sign up with SpaceX for the trip to Mars. At least you’ll have something to look forward to. Of course there’s Viagra and even Spanish fly. However, when you come down to it, you’re going to be fucked, and not in a good way since once the incubus inhabits your neurogenic pathways, it takes on a life of its own and you’re going to wish that you were somebody, anybody, but you.
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