Monday, September 14, 2015

Pornosophy: Finally a Barbie With Pubic Hair?

Barbie 2015 Ballet Wishes
Barbie Dolls are the Oscars of the Brazilian waxing world. These dolls are female equivalent of the castrati which used to make up church choirs in the l7th century. They do sport breasts, but in an act of collusion with pedophile culture, pre-adolescence has become the stylistic model for 21st century femininity with its marked absence of pubic hair. However wouldn’t it be wonderful to create a whole new line of adolescent Barbies with both budding breasts and a down covering the mons pubis and tufts of the kind of angry armpit hair that actresses used to sport in l950’s Italian neo realist films? Each Barbie would come with its own training bra and tampon set and there would even be dolls which employ little Heinz ketchup bladders. How about a Barbie who conveys the so-called “facts of life” (like the dolls made by a company called Amamanta which advertises their potential use as "sex education props”)? The new Barbie would also come with a revitalized Ken, replete with a strap-on, chest hair and its own pubic bush. This Ken would be capable of hooking up (and using apps like Tinder) and with the help of a hydraulic elevator mounting and even dry humping his female counterpart. What a relief to finally have a doll that had some relationship to reality, a doll that could be used as learning and even therapeutic tool. The anti-septic Barbie existence that young girls are brought up in and that then gets reinforced when they're hustled off for their first wax (to remove the scourge of dreaded pubic hair) is a new form of Cinderella Complex, offering as it does a perfect palette for the self-hating creature who seeks to hide behind a veneer of antiseptic polished appearance.

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