Pornosophy: A Survivor Recounts His Experience of a Radical Craniectomy

                                                 NBC Television

“It was like quartering an apple. My skull simply fell into pieces on the operating table. I was totally awake during the procedure and I was able to see my brain ooze right out into the open.  Being able to perceive the very thing that is doing your perceiving is an experience no one should miss. I’d been addicted to pornography and I’d embarked upon the craniectomy in the hope of getting involved in a loving and committed relationship. In fact after my doctor informed me about the specifics of the operation and I responded ‘that sounds like brainwashing,’ his response was, ‘your brain needs to be washed.’ I’d told him about the porn sites I went to. Some were really dirty. So his rub a dub dub approach was spot on. I had to nip my addiction in the bud, before I did any further harm to myself or others and I needed a real hands-on approach. I was tired of the softer and easier path of talk therapy which produced little results. No pain, no gain. A craniectomy is not something that can be done arthroscopically, in the way that orthopedists treat a torn meniscus, since you have to remove the whole crown of the skull which means that the recovery period is going to be much longer. I had tickets for the Bosox game the day after the scheduled surgery and I was sorely disappointed when I was told that I couldn’t simply be put together like Humpty Dumpty and then head up to Yankee Stadium on the 4. I was going to have to rest and it would be a while before it was possible to tell if the operation had been a success and the dirty thoughts abolished. If not they could always open me back up and start all over again. Luckily the operation was a total success. I had completely cleaned up my act and before long I returned to school and became an egghead. Not surprisingly neuroscience was my field of interest and I was appointed a tenured professor at a small liberal arts college. I got the wife and kids and a little house with a white picket fence. The scars eventually healed and my hair grew back. Looking at me you’d never suspect that a troubled mind had once inhabited my skull.”