Rants and reactions to contemporary politics, art and culture.
Friday, April 17, 2015
Pornosophy: A Survivor Recounts His Experience of a Radical Craniectomy
“It was like quartering an apple. My skull simply fell into pieces on the operating table. I was totally
awake during the procedure and I was able to see my brain ooze right out into
the open.Being able to perceive the
very thing that is doing your perceiving is an experience no one should miss.
I’d been addicted to pornography and I’d embarked upon the craniectomy in the
hope of getting involved in a loving and committed relationship. In fact after
my doctor informed me about the specifics of the operation and I responded
‘that sounds like brainwashing,’ his response was, ‘your brain needs to be
washed.’ I’d told him about the porn sites I went to. Some were really dirty. So his rub a dub dub
approach was spot on. I had to nip my addiction in the bud, before I did any
further harm to myself or others and I needed a real hands-on approach. I was
tired of the softer and easier path of talk therapy which produced little
results. No pain, no gain. A craniectomy is not something that can be done arthroscopically, in the way that orthopedists treat a torn meniscus, since you
have to remove the whole crown of the skull which means that the recovery
period is going to be much longer. I had tickets for the Bosox game the day after
the scheduled surgery and I was sorely disappointed when I was told that I
couldn’t simply be put together like Humpty Dumpty and then head up to Yankee Stadium
on the 4. I was going to have to rest and it would be a while
before it was possible to tell if the operation had been a success and the
dirty thoughts abolished. If not they could always open me back up and start
all over again. Luckily the operation was a total success. I had completely
cleaned up my act and before long I returned to school and became an egghead.
Not surprisingly neuroscience was my field of interest and I was appointed a tenured
professor at a small liberal arts college. I got the wife and kids and a little
house with a white picket fence. The scars eventually healed and my hair grew back. Looking at me you’d never suspect that a troubled mind had once
inhabited my skull.”
Francis Levy's debut novel, Erotomania: A Romance, was released in August 2008 by Two Dollar Radio.
His short stories, criticism, humor, and poetry have appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The New Republic, The Village Voice, The East Hampton Star, The Quarterly, Penthouse, Architectural Digest, TV Guide, The Journal of Irreproducible Results, and other publications. One of his Voice humor pieces was anthologized in The Big Book of New American Humor (HarperCollins). He is presently the Co-Director of The Philoctetes Center for the Multidisciplinary Study of Imagination (philoctetes.org), where he supervises roundtable discussions on topics as varied as “The Psychology of the Modern Nation State” and “Modern Traffic Theory, Behavior, and Imagination”.