Democrats for Citizens United

photo of Chelsea Clinton (Ali Shaker/VOA)

One of the democratic platform issues is the repeal of the Citizen’s United verdict which allows for uncontrolled campaign spending by super PACs. In other words those with bucks continue to have undo influence. But shouldn’t we be thankful for the super PACs which have produced all these exemplary children. No one likes the candidates in this election, but everyone is talking about the children. And it’s apparent that one great way to produce wonderful children is to be a presidential hopeful.  Even though it’s clear Trump, who has been using his own dough, is not dependent on super PACs, he's one of many candidates notable for his great kids. You have the two Obama girls, Chelsea, Ivanka, Tiffany, the Trump boys and going further back Ron Reagan and Caroline Kennedy. Even Dr. Spock, a noted liberal, who’s Babyand Child Care is still a bible of child raising and a noted liberal, might have given his blessing to Citizen’s United. Let’s imagine that we expand rather than diminish the power of the super PACs. The result will be that more and more people will run for president. The problems of dysfunctional families, which include but are not limited to divorce and drug and alcohol addiction, will all disappear. A family with a parent running for president is more likely to produce focused and well-adjusted kids, who thrive in school and later in the workplace.

The Perfect Compliment For Donald Trump

Uriah Heep (drawing by Fred Barnard)

Remember Gilda Radner aka Emily Litella's famous remark about “Soviet Jewelry.”  Jimmy Fallon indulged in a similar bit of word play in a skit where Donald Trump is consulting President Obama about a potential running mate ("Jimmy Fallon's 'Trump' Calls 'Obama' After Indiana Win," The Hill, 5/5/16. When Obama asks him what he is looking for he says “someone who compliments me.” When Obama prosecutes the point asking "you mean someone who has a different skill set than you?" Trump responds, "No, I mean someone who literally compliments me, like 'Donald, you're great.'" It’s a particularly ingenious piece of humor since it’s so true not only of Trump, but presidential candidates in general. No candidate wants some independent personality who's just going to go their own way. That was the cross John McCain had to bear when Sarah Palin came aboard. Joe Biden is probably what Trump would be looking for in a running mate. If you ever watch him at a Presidential event he looks totally smitten. A good presidential running mate has to be an A+ ass kisser. But sadly Biden will not be on Trump’s short list, more because he wouldn’t be caught dead there than because he’s a democrat. If Trump is looking for someone who compliments him, he needs to find the Republican version of Joe Biden. Chris Christie? Nah there’s too much of him especially if you're looking for someone to complement rather than compliment. Ben Carson? The problem with him is that his look of adoration is too otherworldly. He’s on the stairway to heaven. Mary Fallin, the governor of Oklahoma says she would be honored, but anyone who is paying compliments even before she gets the job is obviously looking for compliments herself. So who are we left with? Ideally you need someone as unctuous as Uriah Heep, but with a knowledge of Washington. Who would make be the perfect selfless politician to run with Donald Trump, who’s adoration is pure, who complements by paying compliments?  The answer is no one. What we are talking about is unconditional love, of the kind that only a child can offer. Yes the perfect addition to the ticket is none other than Trump’s own daughter Ivanka.  If you have ever watched her at a televised rally, she looks at her father with the same rapture that Joe Biden shows for Barack Obama.The only problem with Ivanka, in terms of her potential as a second fiddler, are the rumors that she's the one who's calling the shots.