The Final Solution: Pigging Out

Have you thought about what you're going to do the day you get your release papers? Remember those old movies where the gangster gets let out of the slammer and you know he’s going right back to the old life. The fact is that when cities and states open up it’s likely to be slowly--as in the case of New York City which has just begun Phase I and is slowly getting its legs back. There have even been cases where merchants beg the local government not to open up too quickly as in Connecticut where there had been pushback from some retailers—though the barbers and nail salons were sorely disappointed when a promised opening date was rescinded. But let’s say the day finally comes and magically all your favorite restaurants have come up with social distancing plans or have been sold elaborate sanitizing set ups by one of the many companies who will have come on the scene to exploit the need for health and safety plans (surely this will become a business in and of itself). How are you going to celebrate? Will it be steak, Chinese, Japanese, Italian, deli, Mediterranean or will you simply repair to the diner on the corner which has long been your hangout and the place where you licked you wounds after a hard day out in the world trying to sell either yourself or your goods? It’s probably going to be hard to decide. There's a famous parable in medieval philosophy where the ass starves or dies of thirst because it can’t decide if it wants to eat or drink. Maybe it will be a stalemate or perhaps you’ll eat in five different restaurants on that great come-and-get-it-day and then come home with a stomach ache.