Monday, February 3, 2020

The Super Bowl

Kohler K-3901-NPR-HB1

Everyone associates the SuperBowl with football. This year the San Francisco 49ers were paired off with Kansas City Chiefs and Jennifer Lopez highlighted the half-time festivities. But there’s another meaning for the words. Instead of a stadium and cheering crowds imagine a vessel for urine and excrement that’s found in every house. A super bowl is then a really terrific toilet. For instance, there are bowls with heated seats and his and hers bowls that are placed next to each other. There are white bowls and elegant black ones which are excellent for hiding fecal stains. There are bowls with a western theme with names like Cimmaron and ones where structure mirrors functioned such as the Regent Dual-Flush. And, of course, there are bowls with accompanying features like bidets. But what about a really Super Bowl? What about a trap door in a bed that leads to a bowl, so that nocturnal excursions are no longer required? Remember the internet of everything which connects all your household appliances? What about an on-line bowl which will enable you to post those creations that you can’t but feel proud of to Facebook or even Instagram? What about a receptacle that can talk back to you or that produces a sui generis selfie from the nether regions? SuperBowl Sunday is in fact the perfect time for a really super bowl since you’re going to have to go to the bathroom after quaffing down all that crap.

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