Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire

photograph: Suricata

What a wonderful thing to be on the verge of exploding, of telling the sonofabitch what you think of him or her and then not doing it! What a joy it is to have projected a whole series of thoughts that may or may not be true but to have the chutzpah to not express them. Yes, chutzpah—since while it may seem like the rant you were going to give requires fearlessness, the ability to not give vent to emotions is a steeper hill to climb; it requires a perseverance that’s the equivalent of being able to survive the most challenging elements. Sometimes the amount of time involved is relatively short, say the seconds it takes to count to 10, yet in that time you begin to free yourself from the negative effects of hyperbole. Let’s say that the complaint is bad and that the person you experience rage towards has literally done something that’s insensitive and dishonest. What does the explosion achieve? It starts off being all about them, but now you’re entwined, enthralled and even enslaved by an individual whose behavior and personality you could just as well have done without. If personality is like a pond, you dove in head first. By telling them off, you're ultimately asking for approval and vindication. Where it was once about them, the tables have been turned; now it’s about you. And when your cry is met with silence and you fail to get what you have been looking for all your life, you will be as hooked as a fish whose mouth is caught on a line and struggles futilely to avoid the literal and metaphysical skillet.