Sperm Count: Deep Thought

The famous male porn stars of the 70’s and 80’s were Harry Reems, Ron Jeremy (aka the Hedgehog) and John Holmes whose last film was done with La Cicciolina, and who was performing without protection while infected with the AIDS virus from which he died. Georgina Spelvin, Candida Royalle and Sharon Mitchell were some of their female counterparts. Today’s generation of porn stars (both male and female) are more film historical and often intellectual. They’re players in the meta-porn industry which may have been influenced by deconstruction. Sacha Grey, now retired from porn, modeled her personality on the Godard actress Anna Karina, whose name she toyed with adopting. The equally New Wave porn queen Stoya does her erotic pas de deux with a male sex idol who calls himself James Deen. The only thing missing are porn stars who really reflect the neuroses of our times, women porn stars who suffer from frigidity and whose male lovers can’t get it up. Audiences are sick of seeing idealized couples creating nuclear chain reactions that set the bar too high. Porn needs to go through a realistic stage say tantamount to the Ashcan School of Art which became popular in America before the Depression. Audiences for X rated films, in the age of therapy and recovery, need porn stars they can identify with and who tell their stories, porn stars who don’t make them feel they are constantly missing out on something. If Woody Allen had balls, he'd write and star in a porn film, a kind of X-rated Annie Hall, where Alvy Singer (Allen) says to Annie (Diane Keaton) “so we'll fuck now and get it over with” in place of the original  “so we'll kiss now and get it over with, and then we’ll eat.” There’s a growing demand for films that deal with subjects that were formerly taboo in pornography—porn films with titles like Chompin’ at the Bit (premature ejaculation), Pissimpotent (about a guy who is inhibited about giving his lover the golden shower she desires), If I Can’t Come in Your Mouth, On Where Am I Supposed to Come, On Your Face? (no particular theme), Deep Thought (about the dangers of meditation and how it can lead to sexual anorexia) and Once a Pickle No Longer a Cucumber (about failed Sexual Reassignnment Surgery). What about a sequel to Behind the Green Door (1972), where the portal in question leads to an analyst’s couch?