Pornosophy: Real Sex?

“Francion 15” by Martin van Maele

According to a recent episode of HBO’s Real Sex there are many women who love to have their hair pulled during sex. The interview subject in question was so stimulated when her partner pulled her hair that she felt like screaming out that he should do it more. It was unclear if she was successful enough in disinhibiting herself during sex to be able express these feelings to him. Some of the women interviewed also averred that they liked having collars put around their necks and having their nipples pinched (or one would suppose twisted, sister!). However, there are many men whose wives simply exclaim in an irate tone “you’re pulling my hair” when their husbands try to employ this technique of lovemaking and there the foreplay ends. That’s one of the built-in dangers of watching too much TV. How to explain these two radically difference experiences of human sexuality? Is it simply a case of “different strokes for different folks?”  Or are there more profound reasons why some women like to have their hair pulled during sex and while others do not? And do these reasons relate to the varying ways in which people and women in particular process pain? For instance some women plainly love it. They beg their husbands to spank them while others are prone to dial the domestic abuse hotline after receiving a playful swat. Some women love to be restrained while others love restraint. Naturally the self-same observations can apply to men. There are men who love it when a woman or another man digs his or her fingernails into their backs and others who have an aversion to being clawed at. If their significant other would like to rake leaves, let him or her go into the backyard. In the end it may be safest to conclude that people are going to have different experiences of sensation. For every person that likes to dominate there is someone else who likes to be pushed around and that’s what makes horse races.