Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Valle Ummm!

Cannibalism on Tanna by Charles E. Gordon Frazer
The Times quoted Federal District Court Judge Paul G. Gardephe in his dismissal of the case against former Officer Gilberto Valle for cannibalism thusly “The evidentiary record is such that it is more likely than not the case that all of Valle’s Internet communications about kidnapping are fantasy role play…once the lies and the fantastical elements are stripped away, what is left are deeply disturbing misogynistic chats and emails written by an individual obsessed with imagining women he knows suffering horrific sex-related pain, terror and degradation (“Officer’s Conviction in Cannibalism Case Overturned,” NYT, 6/30/14). The cannibalism, as the Times described the prosecution case, involved communicating “with others about how he wanted to abduct women, butcher and cook them, and eat them.” Even though Valle has been exonerated, it seems unlikely he will ever be assigned to either the sex crimes unit of the department or reinstated to any unit at all, for that matter. But now that’s it’s determined that Valle was guilty of nothing more than having the kind of fantasies about unattainable love objects characteristic of hormone addled adolescents of both sexes, it won’t be surprising if he doesn’t receive a flood of interest in his recipes from prominent cook book agents and publishers. It’s long been noted that Brazilian hot waxing and surgical techniques like vaginoplasty are also very useful in stove top cooking. And provided Officer Valle is able to behave he might even find himself back in uniform as a guest judge on the Food Network’s Chopped.

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