Is Dyeing Armpit Hair a Harbinger of the Future?

The Style section of the Times ran a piece on “Woman Who Dye Their (Armpit) Hair,”  (NYT, 7/14/15) The piece began with a priceless quote from 17 year old Destiny Moreno of Seattle who dyed her armpit hair Voodoo Blue courtesy of Manic Panic. Said Destiny about the sales person who sold her the dye, “I was like, ‘Oh I’m dying my armpit hair.' She stared at me shellshocked for five seconds, and then she started laughing and was laughing throughout the entire interaction.” Sometimes revolutionary moments occur with a whimper rather than a bang. After all Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin quite by accident. And as the article goes on to demonstrate, it wasn’t the dying of the hair that was unusual; it was the hair itself. In our age of Brazilian waxing who sports armpit, much less pubic hair? You have to have hair in order to dye it and if this piece is any prognostication of a trend, women will be talking about dying their newly grown pubic bushes before the death knell of waxing is even rung. If you remember back in the '60s day glo colored pudendae were as common as cherry pie or as ubiquitous as the big tufts of expressive black hair in a post-war Italian actress’ armpit. The idea of dying underarm hair in the current cultural climate is tantamount to having the industrial and Russian revolutions in the same year or say having Lindbergh climb into the cockpit of the Wright Brothers’ first airplane and fly it across the Atlantic. It’s not just a step for mankind. It’s two. Hopefully the Times piece will be a harbinger of an uprising against waxing in which women will free them themselves from the dominance of the pre-pubescent pedophiliac vision of femininity created by the fashionista/porn version of the military industrial complex and proudly display romantic unruly mounds of pubic hair in colors of Voodoo Blue or whatever their heart's desire.

The Illiteracy

  

The ILLITERACY is the state of mind occupied by all the people in this country who are either functionally or de facto illiterate. Sure there are those unfortunates who really can’t read. However, a good part of this modern nation state communicate freely and express their outrage and fantasies to one another on social media. So they're definitely capable of reading and writing. But the majority of this increasingly large demographic have been deprived of any sense of history. A large proportion have never heard of The New York Public Library, Shakespeare or Beethoven, the Cold War or utopia. Expressions like parliamentary democracy, economy of scale and conspicuous consumption are totally foreign. They have never heard of Pyongyang and hence have no idea that it's the capital of the insular and rogue state of North Korea whose youthful leader Kim Jong-un has made lots of wild threats. They may have heard that Syria is on fire but they don’t know why and they certainly have never heard of Mr. Assad or could care less. J. Robert Oppenheimer, the Manhattan Project, Werner von Braun, Einstein and certainly Niels Bohr all fall under their radar. Queen Victoria sounds familiar due to Victoria’s Secret, but no, they never have heard of Nelson Mandela, much less Woodrow Wilson, Lenin, Trotsky, Gandhi or FDR. And no they didn’t read The Catcher in the Rye in high school and they never heard of  “Trane,” John Coltrane that is. They never got polio because they were vaccinated, but they never heard of Jonas Salk and certainly not Alexander Fleming, whose invention of penicillin spared them from infection. Ask a member of the Illiteracy, who is our current Vice President? If they fail ask about earth and what galaxy it’s in and failing that ask, if there is any truth to the fact that it was created in six days (and nights) and that on the seventh God was finished and took a rest.