Wednesday, June 26, 2019

A Radical New Approach to Perennial Care

Eugene Delacroix's rendering of the gravedigger scene
Should you arrange for dental prophylaxis even after you've passed away? It’s like perennial care for your plot. You want to make sure the grass is neatly trimmed so that people can easily read the inscription on your gravestone. Similarly in this age of forensics, you never know when and if your skeleton is going to be exhumed. So why not be prepared?  No one wants to show up in a coroner's office with the brown yellowing maw that's the emblem of tooth decay. As everyone knows bad teeth signal an early demise—something that you don’t need to be reminded about once you’re  dead. The logistics can be daunting, but you may want to make arrangements for the kind of open hood that you see when you go to a viewing for an embalmed corpse. No more "Alas, poor Yorick!" for you! When someone picks up your skull, you'll hold your head up high and be proud. You make your bed, then have to sleep in it. If you want to live a death free from painful toothaches, roots canals or even abscesses, you’ll want arrange to make sure your dental hygienist makes regular visits to your grave site, floss in hand.  Annual X-rays may even be an option too.

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