Thursday, March 21, 2019

Calling All Podiatrists and Ornithologists

Are you by chance a lay podiatrist? Are you the kind of person who is constantly putting your foot in your mouth? Or an ornithologist who’s always giving someone the bird? The two may be intertwined. Have you been fickle in your swearing and then ended up getting a comeuppance? It’s always fun to yell at Uber drivers who will stop anywhere for a ride or at the slow moving biker on a narrow path, but then one day you suddenly find that you’re not so impregnable and that the object of your justifiable outrage doesn’t just smile stupidly and take it. You may even find someone powerfully determined and built grabbing you by the scruff of your neck. You may have spent years, even decades studying submissions and releases, punches and kicks in your martial arts class at the Y, but you might as well be back in the elementary school yard where the local bully has you in a headlock or simply refuses to let you go on your merry way until you bow in obedience and admit him as the winner. No adult wants to start crying in the shadows of darkness under a Hopper street lamp, pleading to be let go because their wife will be worried. However, that's where you may very well end up, if you're not careful. If you’ve never been street smart, it’s probably not in the cards no matter how many boxing classes and jujitsu classes you take. There's a huge difference between theory and practice, between a controlled environment and the call of the wild. There are some people who nobody is going to run over and others who are accidents waiting to happen.

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