Why is everyone so annoying? Dante’s Inferno is constructed with the First Circle occupied by those who have done the least
serious offenses and the Ninth by the sinners who are condemned to endure the
most perfidious punishments throughout eternity. So let’s deal with a putative
Ninth Circle of offenders? Their crimes are usually failures of
self-conception. They have no idea how utterly foolish, mediocre and worthless
their lives have been and maintain that they’re the greatest thing since sliced
bread. It’s very hard to be with these folks because they find
themselves desirable and attractive when in fact they're repulsive and ugly
both inside and out. Only a step or two further down the ladder say in the
middle of Hell are those who have committed crimes of exaggeration. You’ve undoubtedly met
people who claim they've studied martial arts when they took two senior
citizens self-defense classes at their local Y. Not much better than the ones who have a distorted sense of their self-worth are those who're actually successful in
everything they do. No sooner do they join the senior citizens self-defense
class than they find out they have a penchant for hitting people and go on to
win geriatric mixed martial arts tournaments, wailing at all comers in
their cages. Someone could do a great service to mankind if this group were
simply executed one by one instead of having to waste tax payers' money by being
boiled in oil. There
isn’t time to go through the list of every objectionable soul, particularly
since everyone is obnoxious in his or her own manner. So let’s skip down to the
First Circle, composed of those who barely qualify for admission to hell. This
group is composed of your average Joe, your grown up version of Alice and Jerry,
from the children’s primer, the ones who answer, “I can't complain,” when you ask how they are.
The best way to handle someone who makes a trite and irritating statement like
this is to give them something to complain about.
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