Friday, August 7, 2015

The Church of Shit: All Welcome

WPA poster by John Buczak
Get in touch with your inner bowel movement! That's where truth resides. Don’t be offended when someone tells you you’re full of shit. Embrace it with the ecstasy accorded revelation. They may think they're cursing you for some infraction, but they're really offering a friendly reminder, rising you from your sleep, and exhorting you to meet your maker—which in this case happens to be you. Yes when it comes to shit you shouldn’t have trouble experiencing the oft touted sense of agency. Did you ever think you would welcome being called a piece of shit? But when you think of it, what else are you? Though few people acknowledge the fact. Shit is what defines you. It’s your one creative act of the day provided you don’t suffer from irregularity. Laxatives and anti-diarrhetics like Imodium are the altar boys, the acolytes of your church of shit. There should be a prayer that begins “Our shit who art within us, hallowed by thy name…” It is one of the  perversities of civilization that shit lies at the bottom of the food chain and that toilets are looked at as the lowest rung on the hierarchy of household appliances, when, in fact, a toilet should be accorded the status of a bible. You may not be able to keep one by the side of your bed, but you're likely to need one when you seek to lighten your burden. Push to pray. That’s the catechism. Lord, free me to get it out!

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