Pornosophy: Don’t Behave Like an Ass

Would it be bigamy to marry the ass of a woman who is already married to someone else? This question is raised by the recent picture of Kim Kardashian’s fundament that appeared on the cover of Paper. The fallout from the whole K.K. episode has yet to be felt. You might not want all of her, but there's no doubt that at least a part of Ms. Kardashian, who happens to be married to Kanye West, could provide happiness to the appropriate suitor. Naturally the question of Ms. Kardashian’s ass brings up the whole issue of whether it's possible to love or even be married to a part of a person. Back in the 70’s there would have been many women and men who might have married John Holmes for his endowment. Medical science is constantly making advances. It’s rumored that Chicken parts like wings, breasts and thighs will soon be cloned and human body parts aren’t far behind. Puppy mills will give way to the mass production breasts, lips (both of the mouth and the vulva), thighs and of course rumps by celebrities like Kardashian who will lend her name to them, in the same way she has to her line of perfumes. But what would it be like to be married to Kim Kardashian’s ass? What would it be like to have just Kim Kardashian’s ass lying next to you in bed? And is there a justice of the peace, rabbi or priest who would be willing to perform such a  synecdochic ceremony? One thing is certain, those who fall in love with Kim Kardashian’s ass need no longer fear making asses of themselves.

Bonus question: If Mephistopheles proposed that you could sleep with K.K.’s ass at the price of your soul, what would you do?