The Rob Ford Center

Miami-Dade County Mug Shot of Rob Ford Upon Arrest for DUI  Charges in l999

Gerald Ford never had a Ford dealership named after him, but there is a Betty Ford Center. Now the question is, is there a Rob Ford Center lurking in the future of the beleaguered Toronto mayor? As everyone knows Rob Ford was videotaped smoking crack, which, when you think of it, is probably a first for the mayor of a major metropolis on the continent of North America. New York was a wide open city during the administration of Abe Beame during the 70’s. New York’s infrastructure was crumbling (an infamous Daily News Headline read “Ford to City: Drop Dead”) and flesh was cheap, but City Hall was not a crack house. The question is what do Toronto’s inhabitants see in Rob? Well for one he’s a strong willed individual who blames his problems with crack on drink. If he hadn’t been drinking he wouldn’t have smoked crack. Rob’s mother and sister suggest solving the problem by putting a breathalyzer in his car. Ostensibly, the breathalyzer would enable Rob to monitor himself so that he didn't get shit-faced enough to smoke crack. The National Post (“Rob Ford’s Mother Thinks Her Son’s Biggest Problem Is His Weight,” 11/7/13) commented thusly, “Diane and Kathy Ford said Mayor Ford needs to lose weight, get a breathalyzer to start his car and see a counselor, but he doesn’t need to go to rehab and he doesn’t need to resign.” If Rob Ford ever has a clinic named after him, this then could be one of the treatments. On the basis of Ford’s own behavior, it would be a unique clinic for heavy drinkers who don't want to face the consequences of their actions. Those who attended The Rob Ford Center would learn how to drink without smoking crack. Patients who liked to do controlled drunk driving would also be offered their own personalized breathalyzer.