Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The Libidorometer

The only drawback of the libidorometer is that it must be inserted carefully. There are applications that allow for oral insertion, but these instruments, which resemble the human penis, are beyond the budget of the average consumer. In addition, due to their construction, these versions of the libidorometer are not convenient for use while in public (unless you are attending Carnival in Rio). Needless to say, the libidorometer has become an increasingly essential appliance for most Americans. Decoding the human genome has been a laborious process that's produced tremendous advances, but it is also tedious. The libidorometer was developed by leaders in genome research as a diversion during the long years in the lab. Don’t jump to the immediate comparisons with Viagra, which was discovered when a drug designed to treat sufferers of angina produced uncalled-for erections. It is true, however, that the libidorometer was created by technicians who realized that an instrument used in gene marking seemed to predict their disposition for sexual engagement. Soon, research institutes across the country, from The Rockefeller University in New York to Yale, Stanford and Harvard, were filled with technicians whose advances in science were directly proportional to their advances on each other. During coffee breaks, researchers looking for cures for a host of maladies would rush to the men’s or women’s room to insert their newly acquired libidorometers into their anuses. Emerging from the bathroom, many would sport huge smiles as they faced the prospect of a hard day’s work knowing that unforeseen pleasures awaited them as a reward for the assiduity with which they pursued their research.

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