Diasporic Dining XXIII: The Tenderloin

Apparently there is a movement afoot to change the name of San Francisco’s famous vice-ridden Tenderloin to The Tempeh District. Thursday’s Times quoted Tracey Reiman, the executive vice president of a San Francisco group called People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, saying, “San Francisco is now renowned for some of the best vegan cuisine in the world. And the city deserves a neighborhood named after a delicious cruelty-free food instead of the flesh of an abused animal” (“Activists Urge a Vegan Makeover,” NYT, 3/30/11). However, the Times went on to underscore the fact that “the moniker had little to do with meat and more to do with a neighborhood’s olden reputation as a place where the police were on the take, receiving ‘tenderloin’ or bribes to turn a blind eye.” But let’s say The Tenderloin turned vegan. Rather than the proposed name, why not choose something more enticing like The Gluten Free Soba Sharma Greens District? The Gluten Free Soba Sharma Greens District would be a place where policemen are given tofu to look the other way. And what about vice? Many pole dancers, strippers and prostitutes in a cutting-edge place like San Francisco are undoubtedly vegan and don’t eat any meat, living or dead. So what would these sex workers in a meat- and gluten-free district offer their potential clients? Would tea-bagging be done with real teabags? Would male and female prostitutes be paid money to fellate squash or suck on a carrot? And would lap dancers call their clients “naturally sweet” rather than “sugar”?