Sun Yat Tim

With the budget deficit climbing above the $l trillion mark, Federal Reserve chief Ben Bernanke and Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner announced the creation of new federal watchdogs in order to help prevent the United States from becoming a debtor nation. “We want the US to become a creditor nation,” Mr. Geithner announced. At the same news conference, Mr. Geithner indicated that he was changing his name to Sun Yat Tim in order to facilitate the relocation of the Treasury Office to Shanghai, a move that was announced at a news conference earlier in the week.

    

The creation of important new agencies, among them ANT (Agency for National Trade) and MUG (Microeconomic Unilateral Genome), are important aspects of the administration’s newest attempts to inject adrenalin into a lackluster economy.

    

“The development of a whole new set of acronyms is an important first step in moving America back to its position as a world economic leader,” President Obama told CNN in a recent interview. “For every TARP, there must be a PANCHO, or at least a TENT (Temporary Environment Nonspecific Task Force).

   

Treasury Secretary Tim went on to say that the United States’s balance of trade should in no way be impacted by a policy that virtually guarantees China’s ability to out-price its American manufacturing counterparts.

   

One of the highlights of the joint Treasury and Federal Reserve news conference was the appearance of Mr. Bernanke in traditional Chinese garb, including a Versace Mao jacket and a Fu Manchu goatee. The Federal Reserve (and its Fort Knox gold reserve) has already moved to Beijing at the request of its creditor. However, Mr. Bernanke has indicated he would retain his birth name, as opposed to adopting the Chinese Sun Young Ben, for personal reasons.