The Death of the “N” Word

“Narcissus” by Caravaggio

Let’s entertain for a moment the theory of parallel universes, the doctrine of eternal occurrence articulated in varying forms by both Poincare and Nietzsche. The substance would be that within the infinity of time and space, everything will recur with all its infinite possible mutations. In other words you could climb into a wormhole or other exotic device and find a parallel universe in space/time where you existed along with infinite forms of yourself, the self that was a teetotaler as well as a drunk, the self that was a lothario as well as an anhedonist--who finds no pleasure in sex or anything else. In theory, it’s actually possible though not probable that you could find your exact present self in this world. Infinity like a Pandora’s Box unleashes all possible combinations and permutations. Another formulation of the same idea is the example of the monkey sitting in front of a typewriter and producing Hamlet. But let’s take poetic license and envision a parallel universe over the infinity of space and time where an even more unlikely possibility occurs, say a universe filled with exact genomic replicas of yourself, and not one but thousands of monkeys merrily pecking away at typewriters that all come up with not Hamlet this time, but the play within a play in Hamlet, The Murder of Gonzago. What if? At the very least there would be no such thing as identity theft in a place where identity was so easily shared and uniqueness was useless to cultivate. Of course there is no way to speculate about what life would be like in such a dystopia. One thing is certain, however. The much overused “N” word, narcissism,” would surely become extinct.

Worming My Way Back to You Babe

Can you imagine a day when wormholes become so commonplace, they’re like Interstates? The E-ZPass will truly live up to its name since this toll will be predicated on a chink in time that bypasses the usual limitations of interplanetary travel. Christopher Nolan's  Interstellar envisions a time where travel through wormholes in search of a viable home for beleaguered mankind would be a central part of any space program’s mission. If what scientists tell us about global warming is true then wormholes are going to be the only way to go. “Two Promising Places to Live, 1,200 Light Years From Earth,” was the title of a piece in The Times (4/13/13), about a couple of planets scientists have called Kepler 62e and f orbiting the star Kepler-62 of the constellation Lyra, in the so-called “Goldilocks" zone, which provides temperatures hospitable to human life. However, at those distances one never knows. It’d be a shame to create a literal spaceship earth, a Noah’s ark of future civilizations who passed the baton on one after the other, only to find that the Promised Land was not all that it was cracked up to be. Being able to travel to far away places by way of wormhole is tantamount to being able to study computer listings on Craig’s List as opposed to trudging door to door in search of an apartment in Manhattan. So here’s how it would work. You input your requirements into NASA’s Kepler spacecraft which would now be owned by one of the major real estate firm, like Sotheby’s, that handled stellar and interstellar transactions (“if you’re looking for space in outer space, we got it” might be the Kepler’s mantra), you hear back about some possibilities and then pop into a wormhole to psyche them out, all the while making use of your E-ZPass, of course. By this time in history people would be getting as excited about planets as they once were about apartments and if it looks right they’d be ready to begin packing up for the trip. Wormhole or no wormhole, it’s still going to be a schlepp, but even if you have to circumvent a black hole it won’t be long before you see the light.

The Eternal Recurrence of a Spotless Mind

Everyone is always told that you have to love your significant other warts and all. But what if he or she or it could journey to a parallel universe where none of their positive attributes would be marred by human foibles. Both Nietzsche and the mathematician Poincare believed in the notion of Eternal Recurrence which states that over the infinite expanse of time literally everything and all its mutations would appear as a succession of possibilities. It’s another iteration of the idea that if you put a monkey in front of a typewriter, over infinite time it will spew forth Hamlet. The idea of parallel universes presents a science fiction version of this idea in which chinks in time make it possible to travel to other dimensions where we can be melded into more perfected forms of ourselves. What a savings of time and money. If they could be accessed, parallel universes would prove to be a lot more reliable than therapy. Therapy rarely offers a cure. All that’s being offered the patient is an ability to accept and understand dysfunctional and maladaptive parts of the self—with the dreary hope that under optimal conditions serial murderers, for example, might recognize that they are acting out. If only scientists could find a way of identifying wormholes and other means of accessing the multiverse then we would be able to select from a number of possibilities. Let’s say there had been knowledge of parallel universes back in the day of Adam and Eve. Eve might have been able to find another form of herself which didn’t give in to the temptation to take the apple from the Tree of Knowledge. There would have been no fall or original sin and earth would have been paradise.