Pornosophy: Let’s Discuss the C Word

Gustave Courbet’s “The Origin of the World” (1866)

C--- or the C word as it’s called is increasingly described as one of the worst things that can be said, something rivaling the racist N word. But C represents a part of the body and N is a derogatory expression for a whole race of people. Plainly it’s a no brainer. N has C beat, when it comes to defamatory expression. Using the N word is a statement of the fact that you believe a person is not equal to you. It’s a personal attack,  though it's frequently used by rappers to describe their cohorts, as in the case of Bobby Shmurda’s hit song “Hot N*gga.” But why is the C word so frowned upon when you don’t need to abbreviate when you want to call someone a prick in or out of print? After all the C word is the best description of the subject matter for Courbet’s masterpiece, “The Origin of the World." In a way this favoring the P word over the C word is a form of discrimination since it’s saying that the female gonad which the C word references is more damning as an expletive than the corresponding male appendage. Which brings up another question. Would women take offense if people started referring to those they wanted to malign as vulvas, breasts or vaginas in the same way that a person of dubious character is called an asshole. We already know that pussy produces an almost equally negative response as the C word, though pussy is not as easy to challenge since it shares linguistic territory with baby cats—whose deletion from English would offend animal rights advocates. As for the poor asshole it has no one to defend its honor since being unisex, it’s neither fish nor fowl. Those who feel that the C word is being unfairly discriminated against for no real purpose should organize mass demonstrations in front of The White House to rescind a First Amendment free speech encroachment and also in front of the U.N. and embassies and consulates around the word to protest a growing threat to language rights and fair use.

Penis Envy Redux

                                                                      photo of Anna Magnani by Yousuf Karsh

Courbet would have a heart attack if he saw what passes for the female genitalia today. Remember his famous painting “The Origin of the World” with its sensuous portrait of the lower half of a mysterious female’s torso (recently identified as Whistler's model Joanna Hiffernan). And what about Anna Magnani, famous for both her acting skills and the hair in her armpits? Not that every woman has to be the female equivalent of John Holmes. But what is this Brazilian waxing craze, this shaving into oblivion, this pedophilia that passes for fashion? Surely no bodily part has ever been under such concerted attack as the female genitalia. What if the Brazilians decided that the head was too obtrusive? Shaving used to be met with some degree of resistance by pregnant women who experienced castration anxiety when their obstetricians prescribed it before childbirth. As Marcel Ophuls’ The Sorrow and the Pity documented, the heads of female collaborators were shaved after the war and who knows what else was shaved? If advances in epigenetics prove that some forms of acquired characteristics are inherited, the offspring of shaved women may well suffer from the sins of their parents, looking down between their legs to find that they really have something to be envious about. With Viagra and penile enhancement, men’s genitalia are getting progressively larger while women are under continual pressure to make their genitalia smaller (through waxing and vaginoplasty). What does this say about the equality of the sexes? What about the well-hung woman?

The Origin of "The Origin of the World"

Whistler’s “Symphony in White, Number  1: The White Girl

The 2/9/13 Arts, Briefly column of the Times cited Paris Match as reporting on a unique finding regarding Courbet’s famous and infamous “The Origin of the World” (“The Other Half of ‘The Origin of the World,’" NYT 2/8/13) According to the Times’s recap of the Paris Match story “a collector says he has discovered the top half of Courbet’s portrait.” In passing the Times piece mentions that the painting was “once owned by the psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan.” Along with the notoriety of the painting’s wanton pose, Lacan was also notorious for the precocious way in which he terminated his patient’s sessions. Cutting short sessions would, one thinks, mean that Lacan was able to see more patients in one day than the average Freudian and this delicious tidbit might provide some insight into where all the additional money went. But the discovery of the model’s identity is also good news for lovers of an ideal of feminine beauty that is currently held in low esteem. While a truncated nude might be tantamount to the esthetic advantage of low definition (b&w in film, minimalism in art), the closing of the circle here strengthens a worthy cause. The sitter or spreader who, the Times remarked, was  “thought to have been Joanna Hiffernan, a model and muse not only to Courbet, but also Whistler,” can now can be a spokesman for the pubic hair and a posthumous protestor against Brazilian waxing, anorexic photography and other forms of pedophilia that have infected our culture. Were Anna Magnani, who sported hair in her armpits, still alive, she'd undoubtedly be pleased that the identity of  Courbet's model was uncovered.

Sex Tips for Seniors

The metaphysical poets regarded every sexual consummation as a tiny death. Of course, studies have shown that, among the elderly, the imminence of death is inversely proportional to the frequency of sexual activity—something Marvell and Donne would undoubtedly have been thrilled to hear. But speaking of endgame scenarios, Nagg and Nell, the aging couple encased in garbage cans in Samuel Beckett’s classic drama, offer a heartening depiction of the wealth of sexual possibilities available to couples in their golden years.

The fact is that geriatric sex opens up a world of opportunity, with dementia unlocking the doors of inhibition. Retirement colonies are notorious for STDs, and rape is not uncommon. The French author Héléna Marienské sets her racy novel Rhésus in an old-folks home whose residents are invigorated by the introduction of a free spirited Bonobo.

Cialis ads on television advertise sexual readiness that lasts for 36 hours, so that old-timers can be ready when the time is right. Is there a Princess “cruise to nowhere” that offer Cialis and Lipitor cocktails with little umbrellas right before Bingo?

Carpe diem should be the byword for all aging couples when it comes to sex. What happens when an 85 year-old woman tells her husband she’d rather wait until tomorrow, and tomorrow never comes?

The painter Lucien Freud was the poet of imperfection, and his portraits of unwieldy naked figures (like overweight performance artist Leigh Bowery) are liberating to aging couples who feel inhibited about the exhibitionist romps that are the joy of foreplay. On the other hand, Courbet’s “The Origin of the World,” with its luscious study of wide-open feminine glory, is hardly the appropriate prescription for an aging woman who is self conscious about her vaginoplasty.

Every Sunday, The New York Times Book Review offers an ad featuring a photo of a very well preserved couple demonstrating their lovemaking techniques for any audience willing to buy the DVD. There are two programs offered, one for beginners, and one for aficionados who are seeking post-graduate degrees. The appearance of these ads, week after week, leads to one conclusion. The New York Times Book Review appeals to an older audience.