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Beatles Arriving in U.S. for Appearance on Ed Sullivan Show |
For a while New Yorkers were threatened by bedbugs. Then there were the Beatles. Now
young British women wearing spikey calf high boots are the latest pest that
Manhattanites have to deal with. Their provenance may not be upper class, but
they almost always speak with haughty upper crust accents whose subtext simply stated is, “while I preen myself to attract the
attention of men, I will bite of the balls of the average bumbling American
male.” Americans have already spent billions cleaning up after Katrina and
Sandy and they’d be spared considerable extermination if the present scourge
could be stopped at the borders (remember the
Saturday Night Live skit based on
Roach Motel,
"Roach Brothel?”) Let’s not let any more good looking British
girls wearing spiky boots or shoes cross our borders and those who persist should be sent to the same
centers where thousands of illegal immigrants are detained. An inadvertent
benefit of locking up some of these gals would be a lessening of their hauteur.
Of course, there's poetic justice in deportation. An English woman out of her
element is actually like meeting a character in a movie, but at home she’s
pretty much like everyone else. There’s nothing special about speaking the King
or Queen’s English in England, but in America even Eliza Doolittle would be
treated like an aristocrat.
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