Monday, December 5, 2011

Park Ave S&M Mag Ring Exposed!

Undercover investigators have discovered a ring aimed at placing highly graphic sadomasochistic pornography in the practices of prominent Park Avenue internists. Informed sources within the office of the Manhattan DA have reported highly detailed blueprints showing how magazines like People in Stocks, Anus Mirabilis and The Scarlet Letter would be added to the worn piles of innocuous weeklies and monthlies like The New Yorker, Time, The Atlantic and Smithsonian which generally appeal to affluent patients. It is uncertain what the purpose of the ring was, but there has been speculation that it might be part of the disruptive activities engineered by the Occupy Wall Street movement. Others have speculated that the plans might have emanated from a totally opposite side of the political spectrum, for example Tea Party organizers hoping to foment a tide of revulsion which could adversely affect First Amendment rights. The plan to place the magazines in the doctors’ offices is regarded as a civil rights violation as well as a terrorist act to the extent that the images in question could cause immediate harm and even death in certain cases. The investigation which has been going on for years has resulted in the arrests of ten suspects who have been charged with conspiracy to provoke  under a number of statutes in the Homeland Security Act. The ten suspects who have already been water boarded, arraigned and released on bail could face lengthy prison terms if convicted.

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