Dear Ethicist: What To Do When a Eulogy is Being Given By a Fucking Asshole Who Never Gave You the Right Time of Day

Dear Ethicist: I feel the obligation to attend a memorial service but the person giving the eulogy is someone who’s never given me the right time of day. What should I do? Its no fun being snubbed at a funeral. The only problem is, I’ll risk getting the cold shoulder from my dead friend’s wife--who's somewhere betweeen mildly attentive and disinterested. My failure to show up could tilt the scale in the wrong direction and seal my fate in so far as my social capital is concerned. I’m now leaning towards not attending. Let the chips fall where they may. I know everything is relative. There must be people who think the eulogist is smart and at least empathetic, but let me invoke Kant's categorical imperative and say that this guy is categorically a fucking asshole. As you can see I’ve worked through my feelings. Still I’d be interested in hearing your thoughts. If I don't take your advice in this situation, they're likely to come in handy in the event I attend any memorials presided over by people who don't like me, in the future. 

Angry
Madison Wi

Dear Angry:

I believe there is an 800 number for people with your problem.

Read "Is Guilt a Time-Bound Emotion?" by Francis Levy, HuffPost

and listen to "Love Train" by the O'Jays