Rants and reactions to contemporary politics, art and culture.
Thursday, June 23, 2016
Sperm Count: Naked in Toledo
A lot of people are just bored and can find nothing more thrilling to do than pull down their pants There's a thrill to watching
porn when you’re in a listless mood, but it’s even more exciting to make it and
anyone can do it. Those who are exhibitionistically inclined need no longer confine their activities to undressing in front of their dorm or bedroom windows. All you need is the capacity to record yourself and you're off to one of those sites where you'll have your moment of fame. Imagine that you're just sitting listlessly in the one room you rent in Toledo, with the peeling paint on the wall, the kind of apartment that David Lynch might have used in one of his movies.There's nothing but the local Irish bar with the red faced guys sitting cross legged on stools with
their veiny bulbous noses, the kinds of barflies who have nothing better to do than to look indignant as
you walk in to drink by yourself. But now just unzip your fly or let that skirt drop to the floor, click your heels three times chanting “there is no place worse than
this prison”and you're on your way to a new life in which you can freely show your body to like minded individuals. A lot of people
feel daunted when they think of the giants of adult cinema like Ron Jeremy, John Holmes, Sasha
Grey or La Cicciolina, but you have to start somewhere and there’s no better
place than in front of your own Airbook. Who knows how many people will eventually
see your dick or pussy? We live in a new D.I.Y. universe where everyone has their 15 minutes of fame. You no longer have to be Steven Spielberg to run a studio. Twitter, Facebook have created promotional opportunities for everyone. Put one foot in front of the other and take it a day at a time and before you know it, you'll have more "friends" than you know what to do with and you'll never be bored.
Francis Levy's debut novel, Erotomania: A Romance, was released in August 2008 by Two Dollar Radio.
His short stories, criticism, humor, and poetry have appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The New Republic, The Village Voice, The East Hampton Star, The Quarterly, Penthouse, Architectural Digest, TV Guide, The Journal of Irreproducible Results, and other publications. One of his Voice humor pieces was anthologized in The Big Book of New American Humor (HarperCollins). He is presently the Co-Director of The Philoctetes Center for the Multidisciplinary Study of Imagination (philoctetes.org), where he supervises roundtable discussions on topics as varied as “The Psychology of the Modern Nation State” and “Modern Traffic Theory, Behavior, and Imagination”.