CNNese

“All happy families are all alike, but every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” The famous Tolstoy quote might be applied to CNN newscasters. They’re all alike, except for John King whose words tumble out of his mouth like bullets from a Gatling gun--and Michael Smerconish who inhabits the 9AM Saturday slot and feigns humanity. If you’re a CNN viewer you’re definitely unhappy. Though you may share the anti-MAGA sentiment, you don’t like the Orwellian Newspeak in which most information is conveyed. The root of Esperanto is hope, but that of Newspeak is well simply... the need to put an accent on literally every prefix or suffix. The suffix accenting is suffocating. CNNs reporting on inflation may be stultifying, Siennese aka CNNease is a little like Jack Torrance’s “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” Back in the days of Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw and Peter Jennings there was at least the feeling your anchor was alive and kicking. The local CBS ll’o’clock news does provide a respite in the form of the weatherman Lonnie Quinn, whose favorite line is, “back to you Kristine and Maurice.” Say no more. Does Berlitz teach a course for aspiring newscasters? What if everyone talked this way? It’s a little like Invasion of the Body Snatchers, where all the pods have hollow eyes and intone the same monotonous dirge. Imagine coming home for dinner one night to find your partner turned into Wolf Blitzer, John Berman or Kate Bolduan or those party animals in the 6AM slot, Poppy Harlow, Don Lemon and Kaitlan Collins?

read "The Campus Un-American Activities Committee" by Francis Levy, HuffPost

and watch the trailer for Erotomania