Sperm Count: Prostitution in the Age of Coronavirus

 What’s the fate of the world’s oldest profession in the age of coronavirus? Not good. Fundamentalist sects often have set out to eradicate vice, but sex finds other outlets as in the widespread polygamy or polyamory in terrorist organizations and cults. Jim Jones was an example of this. You might also ask about love in the world of corona, but even adulterous love offers the opportunities for quarantine. Let’s say you’re hell bent on having an affair with Thy Neighbor’s Wife, to cite the Gay Talese tome based on the biblical commandment, and say she is equally willing. All you need to do is quarantine each other for two weeks (perhaps recusing yourself from your own spouses with the excuse that you feel symptomatic and then boom). But let’s get back to sex workers. Human beings are inventive and in the 5000 years of recorded history, the sex trade has always been enormously resilient. Forgetting about the virtual sex in chat rooms (Chaturbate is one example) or a resurgence of the 70’s style peep shows with glass windows whose very creation seems to have anticipated a pandemic (of at least sexual compulsion) so perfect are they in offering protection. Parenthetically peep show booths which are also like confessionals seem to offer real possibilities for getting close but not too close being a little more than kin and less than kind. But let’s look at some other possibilities. During the AIDS era, dental dams became popular for those who wanted to practice cunnilingus and condoms were king. However, what about a full body condom that’s a little like a bunny outfit? Some of these might even be adorned with ears. Beyond this everyone loves slippery epidermal tissue covered in some kind of lubricant. Will Purell be the new Astroglide? And will it provide a Happy Ending?