Friday, May 24, 2019

The Coast of Sciatica

Jackie Gleason as Minnesota Fats  in The Hustler (1961)
"The women come and go. Talking of Michelangelo" are the famous words from "The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock." One might say that Metrosexuals talk about love and work and occasionally millenarian ideologies, to which they are drawn, that often verge on being cults. But there’s another demographic for whom the fourth and fifth vertebrae are the subject of discussion, along with Gleason and glucose scores. You probably knew that the spine was like an office tower with varying floors, but it was not until you reached a certain stage of life, when psychohistory became a thing of the past (since the narrative is drawing to its end) that you really began to understand that the Sciatic was not one of those charming little regions of Italy which have not been overrun by tourists. Can you imagine a period of time when all your hopes are not being channeled into love objects or the possibility of hitting the jackpot with the idea du jour, but rather getting an appointment with a specialist? OK so you’ve now left your old life and are trying to adjust to the exigencies of the new and what better name for a piece of equipment you’re likely to come across— to quote the poet “midway upon the journey of our life” finding yourself “within a forest dark”— than a reformer? Yes worse things could happen than for your foundering vessel to come aground on the shores of Pilates. Tennis and trysts are a thing of the past now that you’ve begun to accept that the fact that you’re a bunionaire! 

Thursday, May 23, 2019

The Selfie and History

Self-portrait of Rembrandt (1660)
The notion of a self, which could be rendered on the wall of a cave, was a watershed in the development of human consciousness. When you think about it a lot of mental gymnastics must have gone into this momentous stage of human evolution in which a hunter- gatherer connected with the Narcissus-like reflection he faced in the local pond. With no previous frame of reference it had to take some degree of imaginative capability to make the leap and realize  that the image was that of the viewer and not someone else.The great portrait painters of the Renaissance, Rembrandt, Franz Hals and Holbein the Younger would be right around the corner in developing the six degrees of separation that exist between a rendering and the real thing. The broader concept of mimesis in which lived reality could be duplicated, stored, catalogued and saved was a further extension of the self-reflexive awareness which is probably the greatest achievement of the approximately 5000 years of recorded human history. Parenthetically, doesn’t this amount of time seem small and even trite when we look at the eras that comprise the advent of life? Humans are really the new kid on the block and not a very old one at that, when one considers that Australopithecus afarensis, one of the earliest ancestors of man lived approximated 2.9 to 3.9 million years ago. What's so significant however about reproduction and mimesis is that the thrill of it has not vanished. Instagram, one of the most profitable subsidiaries of Facebook, is predicated on the same visual show and tell that cave men delighted in and initiated.

Wednesday, May 22, 2019

The Men's Room

Kohler Dexter O.125 (Home Depot)
Remember A Room of One's Own the Virginia Woolf essay that’s often invoked in the service of woman’s rights. Robert Bly’s Iron John might be looked as the counterpart. But what about a book called The Men’s Room? Here’s the twist. Rather than offering a program of self-realization or actualization, the book would literally deal with the life of a men’s room, the urinals, the stalls, the grunts and the sighs of relief. When you think about it, there really isn’t much of a literature about the sounds and sights of a men’s room, even within the gay canon. The Men’s Room would be an eye opener. Towel dispensers, hand dryers and the politics of the urinal would all be dealt with. If you’ve ever been to a Broadway play or a professional sports event, you realize that men have a distinct advantage when it comes to restrooms. The line of men moves relatively quickly while you can see women looking increasingly agitated, alone in their misery as they switch their weight from foot to foot in order to hold their bladders (obviously the sequel to The Men's Room would be A Women's Room of One's Own). Yet men have their own issues. In Robert Caro’s biography, he talks about Lyndon Johnson at the urinal intentionally shaking his famed Jumbo in front of others walking into the Capitol bathroom, much like a territorial dog. Further, men’s rooms are often given short shrift and any man in the know, who can get away with it, will always try to use the door with the female icon, knowing that, if he has to take a crap, he won’t experience the unpleasant experience of sitting in the urine of some guy who's failed to pick up the seat.

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

The Silent Majority

There are people with large Twitter followings. One of the sadder stories in the press recently concerned Olivia Jade, the daughter of Lori Loughlin, the actress indicted in the college admissions scandal. Olivia Jade’s product endorsements had garnered large fees, which she has now lost because of her parents’ actions in paying $500,000 to get her and her sister, Isabella Rose, categorized as "recruits" for USC's crew though neither had ever rowed—and Olivia’s apparently had it with the couple who begat her. However, the mass of men  (and women) live rather circumscribed existences in which the only legendary aspects to their behavior exist in the their own minds. James Thurber’s Walter Mitty became an iconic character in literature precisely because his predicament so clearly mirrored the disparity between the rather minor appearances most people make on the stage of life as supernumeraries in the crowd scene and the fantasies they have of being otherwise. Are you someone who has 3 followers on Facebook or 3000? It's probably somewhere in between, but in terms of the average Joe or Jane leaning more in the 3 direction. You not only have to work for notoriety to get it, but you have to know how and it’s a curious almost mathematical principle that the ones who possess so-called visibility exceed  “the silent majority,” the term used by Nixon in another context, by exponential leaps and bounds.

Monday, May 20, 2019

The Chicago Statement

The problem with our current age of polarization is that there are no creature comforts to be found— from an ideological point of view at least. If you think that Trump is going to disappear like the L. Frank Baum’s Wizard and all of a sudden you’re going to find comfort in the pandemonium of Democratic identity politics, then you may find yourself facing an unpleasant surprise. It’s like the divorcee who wakes up to find she’s remarried the same man—a not too uncommon occurrence. The New Criterion which can be tendentious and repetitive in its insistent walking to the beat of a different drummer (with the exception of a wonderful writer named Dominic Green and the great stalwarts of conservative thinking like Adam Smith and Edmund Burke who the journal champions) can have its moments and here they are in their Notes and Comments section (January 2019) on the desecration of debate on the American campus. Commenting on “the Chicago Statement,” which emanated from the University of the same name in defense of free speech they remark, “Everywhere from Yale to Berkeley, coddled students clamor to be protected from 'offensive' ideas—that is, from ideas that challenge their taken-for-granted pieties about the world. It used be that higher education was about expanding one’s horizons and learning new things. More and more these days, it is about donning the ideological blinders so that no idea not certified to reinforce one’s prejudices slips through to unsettle one’s complacency.” Don’t get too comfortable with the folks at The New Criterion however since you’re very likely to read something else in the famously right leaning journal and wake feeling you’ve again married the wrong person.

Friday, May 17, 2019

Two Cheers for Lobotomy

Lobotomization is a productive therapeutic intervention, if you really want to get something accomplished. Sure if it ain’t broke don’t fix it, but there are certain things that are beyond fixing. Certain parts of the brain may be like the three notoriously bad train systems servicing the New York metropolitan area, Jersey Transit (which needs amputation), Amtrak whose high speed Acela is headed for a nervous breakdown and the MTA, which conforms to the seventh and last propostion of Wittgenstein’s Tractatus,  “Wovon man nicht sprechen kann, daruber muss man schweigen, “Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent.” Treating mental illness is like one of those knock knock jokes.  “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” The problem is no one is saying “knock, knock” and there’s no one there, though you might subliminally wish  there were. You're all alone, locked in a set of repetition compulsions which infuse you with the illusion of an increasingly elusive reality. The only way to keep the world from falling apart is to increase the OCD to the point where your insides become like a particle accelerator. Now you can see a therapist and start at the beginning talking about your childhood and going as far back as the trauma of potty training while dealing with all the Winnicottian “transitional objects” you’ve taken hostage along the way. Or you can cut short the agony before you get to the famous crossroads where Oedipus brought about the very thing he was afraid of and trying to avoid by running away. Just clear the decks, stop thinking about so much courtesy of a little prefrontal lobe work and you’ll save a bundle of cash. Who says that real happiness doesn't derive from living in a vegetative state?

Thursday, May 16, 2019

Temple Body

"Atlas" by Lee Lawrie (photo: ThreeOneFive)
If you were a young woman growing up in the 50’s or even early 60’s, you may remember your mother warning you,  “your body is your temple.” Instead of attending Temple Emmanuel or Israel, you attended Temple Body and you never would have believed that 30 or 40 or 50 years later you would literally be congregating at a temple for bodies rather than a more traditional house of worship. Indeed in today’s godless world you're more likely to find a gym occupying the space where a synagogue, temple or mosque used to be. There are chains of gyms everywhere and the little church on the corner is likely to be listing its spin class along with its schedule of evening vespers. Limelight Fitness on Sixth Avenue was a church before it became a disco. Is this a form of trans or consubstantiation where not bread and wine, but muscles and ligaments represent the blood and body of Christ? After all, Equinox could be the name of a church instead of a chain of high end health clubs. The statue of Atlas carrying the world on his shoulders stands across the street from St. Patrick’s on Fifth Avenue, as a reminder of the enormous weight that one of mythology's great body builders was able to heft. “’Cause we're living in a material world and I am a material girl,” sings Madonna. Matins means morning prayer, but it also sounds like a good name for one of those anaerobic or aerobic classes that gets you out of bed at the crack of dawn. 

Wednesday, May 15, 2019


frontispiece l871 edition of Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea
If you’re prone to claustrophobia you probably won’t be a candidate for submarine travel. On March 26, 2012 James Cameron the film director famous for the Titanic made a 6.8 mile dive into Challenger Deep in the Pacific’s Mariana Trench in a 24 foot long submersible. Even Jules Verne couldn’t have imagined this reality when he wrote Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea. And then there are the astronauts on the space station who are forced to live in constricted space over long periods with Scott Kelly setting the record at 340 days. Obviously there are certain people who can deal with confinement and others for whom it leads to insanity. Enhanced interrogation procedures used on suspected 9/11 terrorists included confinement in a coffin like box. But what is the basis for the fear of closed spaces? Where does it emanate from? For instance, the period of gestation gives way to the trauma of birth so there's obviously must be some biological footprint created by the umbilical attachment that exists in every individual's psychohistory. For some access to this kind of confinement is obviously comforting or at least endurable, but others become disconcerted at even the least intimation of enclosure. If you’ve ever been on a stalled subway or elevator you can spot those who are particularly vulnerable by the terror that appears in their eyes. Some people won’t lock bathroom doors and some won’t go into a closet for fear of the door jamming behind them. Perhaps one source of the problem lies in the notion of being forgotten. The chain of thoughts might go something like this. You're inserted into  the narrow cylinder of an MRI just as the hospital starts to burn down. In the ensuing panic you're left there and forgotten as the technicians flee and you end up suffocating to death.

Tuesday, May 14, 2019

Eastern Shore Journal: The Floating Opera

watercolor of St. Michaels Harbor by Hallie Cohen
You catch the ferry from the town of Oxford across the bay to Bellevue. By the way there’s also a Cambridge, Maryland, the home of John Barth and the setting for one of his early novels, The Floating Opera.When Oxbridge academics are referred to, watch out. It might be Maryland's Eastern Shore rather than England that’s being discussed. Which may say something about scale and temperament. Royal Oak is another nearby town and the arcane quaintness of these high flown names is reflected in landscapes which are dotted with lost harbors, in which solitary boats tethered to wooden bulkheads line antique docks. The Eastern Shore’s particular topography naturally lends itself to numerous private secluded basins. A town like St. Michaels has a more developed harbor and if you stay at a local redoubt you’re likely to be able to look out your window and take in the parade of maritime traffic. However, even on a slightly larger scale, there’s a solicitude and feeling of removal that’s unlike anything you’re likely to find in a typical seaside resort. It’s hard to get away in this age of connectivity, but the towns built around inlets on the Eastern Shore are truly havens as well as harbors.

Monday, May 13, 2019

Eastern Shore Journal: Far From the Madding Crowd

Tallulah Bankhead is buried in the cemetery of a small church on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, but it’s not a place that dazzles on the first approach. The traffic lights take forever, perhaps because the infrastructure is ill-equipped for the outside world. Rather than being characterized by resplendent vistas, the landscape is populated with low-lying weather beaten houses, some of whose backyards are filled with generations of pass-alongs which could constitute the makings of an antique or junk shop depending on the luck of the draw. Most of the action in this neck of the woods actually occurs at sea (you're not far from the U.S Naval Academy at Annapolis). The Eastern Shore is the kind of place that has been home for generations of families and naturally there’s tourism, but the demographic is a bit different from that of the Hamptons, Martha’s Vineyard and Nantucket which all cater to the gilded gentry of the Northeast who can afford the ever steepening prices. Baltimore, Philadelphia and Washington are the nearest metropolises and though the Eastern Shore may be gentrified like everywhere else, it's still feels as Thomas Gray put it in "Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard," "far from the madding crowd's ignoble strife."

Friday, May 10, 2019

Invisible Men?

In The Merchant of Venice, Shylock famously states, “I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases…” It’s obviously the reverse of racial profiling, the point being to emphasize the humanness of his condition. But let’s turn this around. Shylock’s speech is a condemnation of categorization, but this is also the era of pride.  Sexuality has become like nationalism with people touting their orientations, as ways of separating themselves from others. And the same can be said about race. After years of oppression, minorities in what was for instance a formerly hegemonic White Anglo Saxon Culture have all raised up the mantle of identity politics. It’s totally understandable that after years of oppression and self-hatred, embattled ethnic and sexual groups unite together and find strength in numbers. However, what’s lost in all these turf wars and attempts to compensate for the inequities of the past is the reminder that humans share a commonality and that democracy is ultimately based on those things that all people have in common. “All men are created equal…” states The Declaration of Independence. Conversely one might easily conclude that what defines an individual ultimately is only partly do to his race, sexual orientation or country of origin. Those things are what he or she shares with others. His or her laugh, comportment, philosophy, sense of humor or tragedy are what make for the almost infinite variety of  humankind. Isn’t this one of the points Ralph Ellison was making in his classic Invisible Man? Wasn't Ellison saying that despite the cozy elements of social cohesion, exclusiveness leads to invisibility?

Thursday, May 9, 2019

Pain Management

the rack
Discomfort comes in many forms, shapes and sizes. Pain isn’t one thing. You may have a throbbing or burning. People faint from pain and conversely sometimes a trauma is so extreme that the body is thrown into protective shock, something akin to the way defense mechanisms work with regard to psychic matters. Anxiety is often associated with pain and it can be painful to endure, but it’s not an affect that most people associate with physical discomfort. Torturers who seek to break their subject know a good deal about pain as do martial arts experts who use pain to subdue opponents. In this regard can choking someone out by depriving them of oxygen be rightfully considered pain? In terms of pain management you might be given Percocet after an operation, but there comes a point where the drug is no longer medicating a wound and that’s when the problems begin since it’s not pain, but life itself for which an anodyne is being sought. This can be a tricky condition to triage for many people who become addicted in the aftermath of otherwise normal procedures. The greatest source of mental pain is loss. People who are jilted by lovers or who lose their family or friends due to illness fall into a category all by themselves. You pay your respects when there’s a death in the family, but there's nothing that can be done or said to alleviate the raw pain. The most a compassionate person can do is to listen.

Wednesday, May 8, 2019

Does Modern Man Think Too Much?

Lucy (author:120)
Does civilization think about itself too much? Humans possesses self-reflexive consciousness and thus are aware of their own thinking, which is what supposedly differentiates them from animals—though the line between man and animal is becoming increasingly slim the more scientists delve into the nature of animal consciousness. At a certain point in history humans were probably closer to animals to extent that they didn’t give too much thought to what they were doing. The hunters and gatherers known as homo erectus might have been in more of a survival than meditative mode. Socrates famously stated, “the unexamined life is not worth living.” So by the time of the Greeks homo sapiens had evolved enough that they were totally willing and able to account for their conditions and then there is Descartes with his famous “cogito ergo sum,” which is the philosophical version of Hamlet’s famous question about being. Ontology is that branch of philosophy which deals with being and essence and Kant’s “deontology” deals with questions of ethics and morals. Ideology is a response to the awareness of being. If you are conscious of your self, the next question is how should you act. The anthropological find known as “Lucy,” a creature who lived 3.2 million years ago probably didn’t trouble over any of the inequities associated with her condition of being both a woman and hominid. In terms of mindfulness, mankind has come a long way. However, despite triggering, affirmative consent and a multitude of ideologies which attempt to harness or control human impulse, that little bit of larceny one detects in everybody may just be man's inner animal talking.

Tuesday, May 7, 2019


No one would ever dream you could have quantum physics or any of the practical applications that derive from it, like microprocessors that work on one atom. The sciences in essence moved more quickly than the mind’s capacity to imagine the possibilities in fiction or anywhere else. But what's unthinkable in the sphere of political science? In the l9th century Samuel Butler wrote a famous utopian novel based upon a palindrome. Erewhon with the tweak of one letter becomes "nowhere." In the 20thcentury l984 and Brave New World with their uncannily on the mark visions of totalitarianism gave us a preview both of how language and psychopharmacology would be expropriated by demagogic parties and leaders. But existential realities may be moving even faster than art. The axis of the earth has literally shifted and climate change is already resulting in continental shifts that few are able to grasp. Earthlings have despoiled the planet to such an extent that an exodus of an almost biblical nature is not a far-fetched idea. Imagine biospheres, modules of human life being transported over generations to the carbon based planets circling Kepler stars 1200 light years from earth or imagine a novel about mind being separated from the fragility of body and existing in cyberspace and producing a totally solipsistic  universe. The only thing missing, in these two putative works of fiction, are catchy titles. 

Monday, May 6, 2019

Long Shot

"Romantic comedy" is how Manohla Dargis categorizes Long Shot in The Times. But if you’ve perhaps forgotten what romantic comedy is (in this world where Hollywood movies increasingly look like high tech video games), Jonathan Levine’s Long Shot is unlikely to help you remember. It’s romantic and comic, but will unlikely bring back any the great classics from The Philadelphia Story to Annie Hall. Long Shot  refers to what everyone thought was going to happen in 2016 where the first lady would have been a first mister had the election turned out differently. It also refers to the ejaculate that will become the MacGuffin later on in the movie. Charlotte Field (Charlize Theron), a secretary of state with presidential ambitions falls for Fred Flarsky (Seth Rogen), an idealistic journalist who she babysat for a teenager and who has just been fired from his muckraking job at the Brooklyn Advocate, an alternative newspaper. The movie gets off to a slow start until Charlotte gives vent to her kinky desires. Seeing hesitation in her lover, she apologizes for being bossy saying, “we’ll do exactly what you like then you slap me on the ass and choke me a little bit.”  The verbal hijinks characteristic of true romantic comedy take on a decidedly sexual and for the most part crude form in Long Shot (and the scene in question deserves some degree of scrutiny since the would-be president is choreographing her own classically submissive behavior). In their first coupling Charlotte says, “I usually can last longer than that.” “Not me,” is Fred’s rejoinder. The movie hits its stride as interchanges about sex become the lingua franca with Fred playing a kind of stage mother scripting Charlotte’s rebellion against the establishment. “Could you not tell anybody about this,” Fred asks one of the secret service agents who catches them in flagrante. “They wouldn’t believe me anyway,” is the response. In a world of appearances and ratings, is an ambitious politician willing to bet on her public image? The answer may lie in yet one more innuendo that derives from the film’s title.

Friday, May 3, 2019

The Crack-Up

Composure is a nice thing and people gravitate to the self-assured, those who “know” who they are. There is, of course, enormous human pain associated with the reverse, ie the sight of someone falling apart. In the fifties you may have overheard your parents talking about people having nervous breakdowns. Today the nomenclature has changed. A person is deemed to be bipolar or borderline. There have been many representations of personalities falling apart in films from The Snake Pit (1948), David and Lisa (1962), Repulsion (1965) One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975), I Never Promised You a Rose Garden (1977), and Conspiracy Theory (1997), to name just a few. The Crack-Up was a collection of essays in which Fitzgerald charted his own decline.The process is a little like the cosmological description of supernovae, dying stars emitting huge flashes before they explode. The unhinged Howard Beale character played by Peter Finch in Network (1976) famously intones, “I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore,” thereby igniting a revolution in which viewers rise up and follow him. Stalwart individuals rarely lead revolts since their being is an affirmation of the status quo, but it’s the person teetering on the edge who may light up the night sky.

Thursday, May 2, 2019

Greg Jackson's Poetry

Greg Jackson’s “Poetry” (4/29/19) is one of those New Yorker short stories that stands out. It can be overbearing (it’s certainly not an example of the kind of Carveresque minimalism that the magazine once championed), but it’s more exceptional than it is heavy-handed. It’s ostensibly about the conflict between the narrator, James and his significant other, Celeste, who attempt to climb too high. Celeste by the way sports a “Fleurs du Mal” T-shirt. It’s also about the eating of forbidden fruit. The symbolism might set off alarms, but the title actually refers to the process of the story’s own inception. “Poetry” runs rings around traditional narrative. It's a poem in the guise of a short story. Chief among Jackson’s poetic devices beyond the allegory that runs rampant is the use of aphorism. “Kafka once remarked there is hope, but not for us,” is an early sally. And here is the narrator on his French born landlord, Jacqueline. “Suddenly I understood that, for her, every experience was the disappointing shadow of what she had allowed herself to imagine ahead of time.” Jacqueline is by the way a poet  whose work “was the inadequate and bitter fruit of the purer and more beautiful impulse to write poetry, which survived, inviolate, no matter how poor and insufficient the words were.” Celeste ends up vomiting all night, while the narrator emerges unscathed with “the apple...still inside me.” “I have not died yet,” he says and referring to the dangerous climb he goes on to remark “and to judge by this unbroken streak of not dying I will live forever.” Like poetry? “Poetry’s” tsunami of association provides an endorphin rush that in the end comes full circle, creating in the reader the equivalent of an old-fashioned Aristotelian catharsis.

Wednesday, May 1, 2019

The Final Solution: Offending the Audience

The title of a Peter Handke play is Offending the Audience. Abuse is one way to get attention. Shock jocks like Howard Stern use transgression as a means of increasing ratings. Parenthetically there's a fine line between belief and provocation. Were the neo-Nazis marching in Charlottesville merely expressing their fascist beliefs? Shouting fire in a crowded theater is the subject of Schenck v. U.S, the famous Supreme Court case in which Oliver Wendell Holmes described the limits of free speech. Still the notion of riling people up has a long and sometimes not so venerable tradition in America where one form or another of the bearded woman is still attracting thrill seekers to side shows. Level-headed people with rational things to say are hard put to get a hearing anywhere. There's simply too much competition, too many voices clamoring to be heard. Trump is the perfect example since he’s the ultimate shock jock offering up a new piece of provocation and putting his opponents on the defensive while they’re still bumbling to respond to an earlier sortie. Figuring out how to get attention in a situation in which a charismatic personality is dominating can be daunting. Saying nothing and letting their words blare forth is one, often very good strategy. Trying to compete creates at best only a head-on collision. In prize fighting  counterpunchers are often quite effective.They’re the ones who use their opponent's power against them.

Tuesday, April 30, 2019

The Final Solution: Quantum Politics

Large gestures of course create a lot of attention. When John McCain famously voted against the repeal of Obamacare, it was viewed as a heroic show of resistance to the juggernaut of the Trumpocracy. But few people find themselves in a position in the course of their lives to do things that have such public consequence. Most human life is actually lived on what might be called a quantum ethical scale, in which tiny moments of conscience or exercises of free will result in almost imperceptible changes in the fabric of human existence. However, these decisions on a collective scale result in what grains of sand do when they become a beach. Can the weight of such microcosmic bits of morality fundamentally turn the world in the direction of good or evil? For example, right now nothing seems to be shaking the ethical climate which is swinging out of control. Value free politics, with its Spencerian Social Darwinist inclination seems to be driving both foreign and domestic policy. 12 Republican Senators voted against the president’s declaration of a National Emergency in the face of unanimous House approval of a resolution to this effect. Nice, but no cigar. It’s as if the net effect of the ignorance of global warning was to finally puncture the Ozone layer for good—something which may indeed have already happened. So perhaps the Antichrist is not a satanic figure like Dostoevsky’s Grand Inquisitor or even Trump, but “a thousand points of dark” rather than George H.W. Bush’s "light."

Monday, April 29, 2019

Disney cruise boat
Here is the problem after voice recognition not recognizing your voice or any of the questions it posed to you about the past, present or future, it would like to know if you would be willing to take a brief survey. NO! Mind you, you once had a reason for calling which you have now forgotten in your attempt to negotiate all the prompts which are the Scylla and Charybdis of connecting with any organization. "We greatly value your call and will be with you shortly..." Really! Is this really a more efficient way of doing things? Under the principle of the conservation of energy, are labor hours really being saved when eventually you the consumer are taking the hit, when you're going to have to talk to a flesh and blood person anyway? If time is money the only one losing any is you and there's  no way around this since you know that the promise of being able to go onto the site at www.fuck is an idle  one. The site is a sinkhole. It’s no better than the cave in which the Thai soccer team faced a rising tide of water. Most sites are like the Dante’s Inferno. Computer engineers have devised invidious tortures for visitors to their on-line worlds. You will hear the moans resulting from all the failed connections. Doctors offices making, breaking, confirming appointments and  prescriptions. Airlines confirming reservations, ETD and ETA.  Phone, utility or cable companies, black holes which pulverize anything which crosses their event horizon. Before you know it the few people who still use their phones to talk will be asking callers to choose options #1, 2 or 3 and finish by promising a chance to be in the lottery for free Disney cruises if only a few questions are answered about the call--which by the way is being monitored for quality assurance.

Friday, April 26, 2019

Primal Screamers

The Primal Scream was the perfect title for a mass market paperback. Arthur Janov had a built-in audience composed of anyone who had loved the Edvard Munch painting. It's an example of a timely book becoming an annuity. Melody Beattie’s Codependent No More has also sold quite a few copies, as has Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way. That’s what happens when you turn a notion into a movement. Norman O. Brown’s Life Against Death was responsible for popularizing Freudian “polymorphous perversity," Even a pillar of the Frankfurt School, Herbert Marcuse had his day in court with “repressive desublimation,” an idea propounded in One-Dimensional Man. Not to leave out “the banality of evil,” the marquee concept framed by Hannah Arendt in Eichmann in Jerusalem. Ah for Psychobabblese and its sister tongue Esperanto. What tomes will soon top Amazon’s bestseller list? The Sex Myth currently in production will reassure millions of readers who feel left out. Good at Something affirms the talent for parallel parking possessed by those who aren’t good at anything else. Petra is a forthcoming novel based on the following million dollar premise. A couple, on a trip to Israel, seek outs a famous Jordanian marriage counselor. The Person With the Golden Toilet  deals with the psychic transformation that occurs when a reality TV contestant employs the receptacle created by Maurizio Cattelan. No Monopoly on Afflatus is likely to become the definitive handbook of hyperbolic speech.

Thursday, April 25, 2019

Biden Time?

photo of Joe Biden by David Lienemann
When Bernie Sanders was running in 2016, there was the theory that he could never win. You might not like Hillary but you would vote for her since she was the candidate who would coalesce Democratic voters. Now the same argument is being made about Biden. You might like Beto or Buttigieg, but why not vote for Biden who for starters is definitely going to take Pennsylvania and will probably give Trump a run for the money in some other rust belt states too? Despite some recent #MeToo problems which Biden will probably be able to survive, the former vice president looks to be heading the pack. What could go wrong? His treatment of Anita Hill during the Clarence Thomas hearings? His abortion stance which includes his once voting to let states challenge Roe v. Wade? The delay in his actually announcing his candidacy? His age? The whole question of who to vote for is a little like the Bill of Rights which favors individual considerations over the will of the majority. What if you choose to vote for Kamala Harris or Hickenlooper because you like them? Must all voting be strategic? Is the point of the election, not belief, but simply unseating a particularly odious incumbent? Does the means, ie the repression of one’s political standards, justify the ends that would be electing the lesser of two evils? Ever hear of “creative destruction,” the principal advocated by the Austrian economist, Joseph Schumpeter? What if it’s anarchy and everyone votes for Democratic or progressive candidates who all take votes away from the front runner? What if Trump is reelected for four more years? Could it be possible that politically speaking the pain would edge the country forward to real change or is it best to vote for Biden and stop Trump in his tracks? Biden, biding or buying time?

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

The Final Solution: A Chicken in Every Plot

Louis XIV and Moliere (Jean-Leon Gerome)
Moliere would have had a party with our current political climate. Right, left and center huge smoke stacks of afflatus bilge out on a 24-hour basis like the factories filled with child workers during the  the industrial revolution. Speaking of children, a child has been conscripted and lionized as an example of all that's good. Here is the speech of the 16 year old Greta Thunberg to the EU Parliament, Out of the mouths of babes. Trump makes you vomit, but then you have to endure the sideshow of liberal do-gooders, promising the world the world. Listen for instance to potential Democratic nominees at the recent CNN town hall. Elizabeth Warren is going to forgive student debt. Great idea, but what about the cost of single payer healthcare, would that to become part of the Democratic platform? When you roll out 16 year olds with pigtails evangellically intoning "if our house was falling apart," isn't anyone reminded of Nixon’s “Checkers Speech? First of all it's "if our house were." Secondly employing juggernauts of repetition is a form of noise pollution that will drive people who are sensitive to these kinds of linguistic abuses nuts. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned cynicism as a platform? Why can’t someone make a similar point to young Thunberg, by embracing greenhouse gases as the wave of the future. Remember Swift's A Modest Proposal? How refreshing to read a broadsheet about combatting famine by eating babies! Why isn’t there a candidate who will reply to questions about gun control by showing off his or her new bump stock? Human beings are imperfect. A humorist like Mark Twain reflected the values of an earlier age. The only hope seems to lie in the Ukraine, where a comedian named Volodymyr Zelensky, (whose only experience in politics is that he played the role of president on TV) overwhelmingly beat the incumbent president Petro Poronshenko.

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Professor Oblivion

You naturally have your butcher, your baker, your candlestick maker, but certain professions become passé. Remember the old-fashioned knife sharpeners and the strange apparatuses they sometimes wheeled around on wooden carts. Then there’s the case of the critic, once a vibrant part of the intellectual life of the nation, but now relegated to a relatively minor position in the culture, primarily due to the death of newsprint. And what about those critics who have a second career as clowns—earning their pay by jumping up and down and bilging out tendentious nonsense rather than rendering judgments in a spirit of equanimity? Remember the humiliating fate of Professor Rath played by Emil Jannings in Von Sternberg’s Blue AngelThese are the creatures who have replaced the Edmund Wilsons, Mary McCarthys  and Elizabeth Hardwicks of another age. Sometimes its modernity that's responsible for the disappearance of certain vocations. For instance, self-service resulted in the disappearance of the elevator man who was a familiar figure in the metropolitan landscape from the 20’s right through the early 60’s. And what about blacksmiths? The need for horseshoes continues to dwindle now that horse drawn carriages are under attack--at least in New York. You can still get an operator if you are willing to wait, but now most phone companies depend on computer generated voices that in turn produce a simulated response. Similarly few receptionists are there to greet you anywhere and don’t expect to find information booths, another obsolete item. Just follow the prompts. In a few years Amazon will have finally killed off the last of the retail stores. Books, like home runs, are going going gone and that means there will be no need for printers, binders or paper for that matter. And then there’s Tom Lehrer’s "The Old Dope Peddler"who's still doing a thriving business in Fentanyl.

Monday, April 22, 2019

The Lehman Trilogy

Stefano Massini’s The Lehman Trilogy,which just completed a run at Park Avenue Armory, is an elegant juxtaposition between the industrial revolution and theatrical innovation. As directed by Sam Mendes, it’s a family drama about the emblematic decline of capitalism (as manifested in the demise of famous financial dynasty) narrated in a glass box that redounds with everything from story theater style narration to epic visual spectacles like Robert Wilson's The Life and Times of Sigmund Freud and The Life and Times of Joseph Stalin. Both the economic and historical analysis and the theatricality are polished and neatly contained. It’s an old-fashioned piece bien fait, a well-made-play, in the form of a groundbreaking piece of theatrical art. These criticisms not withstanding the production creates many trenchant moments that remain with you—in particular the fact that the dramatic conclusion is never is far from the viewer’s consciousness, with the dissolution of the firm during the financial crisis of 2008 memorialized by the packing cartons which are on stage from beginning to end. There are three other historical crises which constitute important elements. An enormous fire destroying many plantations at or near Montgomery, Alabama where they had settled would facilitate, the Lehman Brothers terming themselves "middlemen" in the cotton industry. The Civil War and Black Thursday, 1929 complete the evolution to becoming that form of financial institution now known as an investment bank (at one point one of the brothers says “this is how our recipe works; the flour is money”).With several minor exceptions only three actors occupy the stage. Henry Lehman (Simon Russell Beale), Mayer Lehman (Adam Godley) and Emanuel (Ben Miles) play the original Jewish immigrants and their successors. Multiple role-playing of this kind is powerful and haunting but also leads to some degree of homogenization. And if there's a moral dimension to the drama (after all ambition and exploitation are subsidiary themes), it’s hard to really identify a sense of good or evil as it plays out in what's essentially a value-free scenario. 

Friday, April 19, 2019

The Miracle Worker

Moses famously parted the Red Sea and then there was the Burning Bush. His modern day counterpart might be someone embarking on the kind of "search" Walker Percy's Binx Bolling undertook in The Moviegoer. The first line of the book is the following quote from Kierkegaard, "the specific quality of despair is precisely this: it is unaware of being despair." Today Moses might be someone leading his people out of a state of spiritual malaise. If you’re talking about biblical narratives of course the creation of the world in six days is the most famous, but let’s not forget the ram appearing at the Binding of Isaac. For children these stories are very real; even adults who are believers tend to interpret them within the context of a certain level of verisimilitude. What's a day in prelapsarian time? But this brings up the question of miracles. People often wish for miracles to occur when they’re in tough situations. It’s called foxhole praying. However the bible is a retrospectroscope. Hindsight is 20/20 and the very point of all these stories is there's no quid pro quo. No appeal is being answered with a sign from God. Miracles may happen, but without the intervention of a celestial operator fielding emergency calls. In this regard, the modern skepticism about the miraculous may relate to the question of human agency. Scientism has produced what Max Weber termed as “disenchantment” with the metaphysical. If you take the notion that laws the three laws of thermodynamics, relativity and quantum mechanics explain the universe then there’s little room left for the imagination. However, perhaps it’s definitional. Does it make sense to say a miracle is a serendipitous happening defying reason of which humans are the beneficiaries but not the cause?

Thursday, April 18, 2019

The Old-fashioned Pleasures of Getting and Giving Good Phone

Bell System Telephone Switchboard (1943)
Giving good phone is an increasingly rarified ability in this age computer generated voices like Siri. It’s a little like cursive writing, another ability which has bitten the dust in a world where no one writes hand-written letters anymore. But as nice as simulated responses can be, there’s no replacing the real thing. Google Maps may be very gentle in saying “recalculating route,” instead of screaming “Herman, what are you doing?” when you’ve made a wrong turn. Yet try to imagine your iphone occupying the chair opposite you at Chez Moi #Aussi. It’s not that giving good phone doesn’t pose it’s own set of problems. For instance computer generated systems are programmed to be nice, but when a flesh and blood human being is particularly attractive and seductive over the phone you begin to wonder about the basis for their pleasant behavior. They barely know you yet you feel that they regard you as a potential lover and start to wonder if there’s any sense in entertaining fantasies of a life together. Are they talking sweetly to you because they like you? Even though they don't know you? Tantalizing experiences over the phone are a little like the buildup that accompanies some blind dates. You’ve heard all about this great guy who's rich, ripped and totally into affirmative consent and then you meet him. Similarly the voice on the other end can be like the Sirens that lured Odysseus to his death. Once you wake up from the trance you may come to your senses and start to question the nature of the personality behind the beguiling words.

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Animal Farm

first edition of Animal Farm
People have all kinds of relationships with their pets that often are a mirror of the kinds of societies they inhabit. For instance benevolent despotism seems to be a common relationship between a dog and his master—and it’s reflective of the kind of governance in which relatively little faith is placed in the autonomy of the citizen. You’ve heard of the divine right of kings with its corollary assumption that the masses of subjects have little or no—divine rights that is. Frederick the Great was the epitome of the benevolent despot. In modern times you had Tito who kept Yugoslavia together. When he died, chaos reigned and there were wars in which centuries of historical baggage played out in bloody slaughters at Sarajevo and Srebrenica. Tito was the pater familias of a raucous and divisive family that would become murderously dysfunctional. In any case it turns out that Frederick was buried next his favorite greyhounds. Now in terms of democracy there are dog owners whose relationships reflect Jeffersonian ideals and cats whose litters are shrines to the Federalist papers. Athenian democracy is another form of government that's reflected in animal maintenance and care of a beneficent kind. And, of course, you can see isolationism in the concept of the goldfish bowl. Remember George Orwell’s Animal Farm? Everyone always thinks of it as a political allegory, but it’s also an excellent handbook for pet lovers.

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

The Neanderthals

Sufferers from Stockholm Syndrome might remark on a certain nostalgia for intolerance, a nostalgie de la boueor perverse from of Unheimlichkeit that derives from the discomfort with freedom. The initials for Stockholm Syndrome are S.S. There are, of course, prisoners who prefer their jail cells to the unknowns of survival in an uncirumscribed world. In the 70’s TV presented creations like Archie Bunker who were Neanderthals in human form. The cartoon character Fred Flintstone was a caveman. Now, in the current atmosphere of political correctness, with shock jocks running with their tails between their legs, such creations would have advertisers bolting. However miserable, one can love the past, not only because it's antique, but because it's a known commodity. The prospect of navigating new forms of human relations in which there are no signposts or previous mnemonic imprints, created by the increased neuroplasticity of the brain at a young age, is daunting. One might conjecture that a new way of life is better simply because it provides more possibilities for the next generation. Unacceptable things becoming acceptable is inversely proportionate to the fear of the unknown.

Monday, April 15, 2019

Christ Stopped at Eboli

Francesco Rosi's l979 adaptation of Carlo Levi’s Christ Stopped at Eboli, currently in revival at Film Forum, takes place during the fascist era. Levi was a painter and writer. Originally trained as a doctor, he was exiled to the harsh isolated Basilicata area (called Lucania in the Mussolini period), in what is known as the "instep" of the south, as a punishment for his political beliefs. The title can be confusing since it sounds like Christ made a stop at Eboli when actually the meaning is that the spirit of Christ stops at the Eboli train station where Levi (Gian Maria Volonte) ends the first leg of his journey. Matera famous for its caves is the county seat and it’s interesting since that’s precisely where Pasolini filmed The Gospel According to Matthew, in which Christ is depicted as a proto Communist. There are 10 other prisoners who are not allowed to speak to each other, a fascist mayor Don Luigi (Paolo Bonacelli) who exhibits a grudging respect for Levi’s intellect and an alcoholic priest who describes the people of the town as being even “worse than the land.” The village in which the movie takes place is literally carved into a rock. The movie partakes of what might be termed romantic naturalism. Levi was a proponent of peasant culture in which he immersed himself. When moved by conscience and necessity, he employed his medical training to help the suffering peasants.The movie is an extended argument about the tyranny of Italy’s petty bourgeoisie over peasants and factory workers—ending in a protracted and somewhat overblown Socratic dialogue on the subject after Levi is freed and returns to his upper middle class life in Turin. Christ Stopped at Eboli is also epic and bears some degree of comparison not in content but weight to the large scale overview of Italian society and history Visconti created in his masterpiece about the Risorgimento, The Leopard. It’s hefty, panoramic, multilayered and filled with emblematic moments including a call to arms masked as a Christmas benediction and a harshly lurid scene presided over by a pig castrator that’s a cinematic poem. 

Friday, April 12, 2019

The Progressive Party

If you’re old enough you’ll remember Ronald Reagan intoning “Progress is Our Most Important Product” when he hosted the GE Hour. Even though much of the world is sunk in poverty, the price of progress in the affluent societies is growing even greater. People now look like scuba divers when they head for bed in their CPAP devices. Yes it’s for sleep apnea, but there’s the subtext of preventing the snoring that can keep a spouse awake. God forbid! The demands for newer and better things, speedier internet, faster telecommunications are becoming more pressing. Cable, once a luxury is now a necessity. And who's going to buy a car that isn’t equipped with satellite radio? Imagine being caught without a broadcast frequency on an open stretch of highway. And of course there's the food. Prime beef is no longer enough for many diners. It has to be farm fed. Not to leave out sex, an increasingly litigious process that may no longer even be worth the trouble in the age of test tube babies and artificial insemination. However if you’re going to give it a try make sure you have an “affirmative consent” decree in hand. Forget the political connotations of the word, modern life is truly a progressive party in which people like the proverbial mouse on a treadmill, are using up enormous amounts of energy under the illusion that the effort is taking them somewhere.

Thursday, April 11, 2019

The Final Solution: The Goosing of America

Woman Goosing Husband Valentine's Day Card (Avanti Press/Amazon)
You tend to admire selfless people, particularly since if they're not involved with their own advancement, they certainly have time for you. However, do such creatures really exist? Literally any person who has a reputation gets it through the exercise of ego. Now one could say that the Buddha in being the embodiment of compassion, is an example of the energy of the self turned towards others. But what are the inner lives of “latter day” saints really like? Controversies surround figures who have devoted their lives to the betterment of mankind like Mother Theresa and Gandhi. Gandhi for instance tested the temptation of the flesh by sleeping next to young girls, but if he didn’t have desires there would have been no need to test them, would there? Finding what’s wrong with seemingly saintly individuals is an occupation in and of itself and part and parcel of a project whose ultimate end is the demonstration of the corruptibility of the human spirit. It’s surprising there hasn’t been a series of noir novels about defrocking priests. Could the Buddha, the embodiment of selfish compassion, have been a sexual predator? There are practical applications for this kind of cynicism in everyday life. The higher the ground on which an individual purports to walk, the longer the fall. Donald Trump’s famous remark about being able to "shoot somebody and not "lose voters” actually brought little in the way of pushback. Yet the accusation that Joe Biden was insensitive in his touching of women may end up derailing his campaign chances. Trump, in fact, is free to goose the whole nation since he doesn’t purport to do anything less."When you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything, " he famously told Billy Bush on the Access Hollywood tape.

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

Pornosophy: Edging

Elizabethan Topiary at Levens Hall (1833)
Edging is what landscapers often do with lawns and flowerbeds, but it also refers to a technique by which one becomes sexually stimulated without having an orgasm. Why do that? One of the reasons is ostensibly to increase pleasure. To point out another form of sensusal satisfaction, think how good food tastes after you’ve had to starve yourself to clean out the colon in anticipation of a colonoscopy. When you finally have your orgasm after repeatedly coming close and then stopping before the show gets on the road, you’re most likely going to have a real bells and whistles experience. However this begs the question of sensation itself. Way back in the era before licensed promiscuity when sex was considered a biproduct of romance and no one had ever heard of hooking up, idealization may have supplanted the synechochic interest in body parts. Yes the Kama Sutra was written thousands of years ago in the pre-Christian era, but it’s influence may have been countermanded by the advent of notion of love. Denis de Rougement wrote a famous tome on this subject, Love in the Western World. Chivalry and honor were all by- products of a concept of behavior in which humans found value rather than sensual pleasure in each other or shall we say that the value imputed to an individual overrode their importance as a receiver of giver of sensual delight. Edging falls into the category of the discussion of vaginal or clitoral orgasms in women, where consummation becomes an increasingly materialized experience. Tristan or Isolde, Romeo or Juliet are too busy navigating the shoals of their respective liebestods to think about what's going on downtown—which may be one of the reasons theatergoers find these works uplifting, in a world where relationships are devoted to vibrators, anal plugs and getting off.

Tuesday, April 9, 2019

The Dedicated Mourner

Is it possible that the people who show up for your funeral are just the ones who have nothing better to do, the assiduous ones who were always there, say like the useless quotes that you padded papers with in high school? The elusive and desirable types, made more desirable in your mind, by the low esteem in which they held you, will be no shows. Of course, there’s going to be one big difference, you won’t be there to care. You’ll never know even if all kinds of termites come out of the woodwork to sing your praises. Forbes famously publishes its 400 list and there's always the obit the matter of a Times obit, something bound to garner a multivalent reaction in just about anyone. Let’s say it turns out you’re a bigger wig than you thought and someone has taken note of your existence all these years, it’s really too bad you won’t be there to know. It’s at this point that elaborate hoaxes have to be dealt with. If parents can pay thousands, even millions to get their kids into elite colleges, why can’t you enlist the services of some PR company from the Dark Web who'll prematurely announce your demise. That way you can have your cake and eat it too. Wouldn’t it be fun to read your own obit. It’s like having a play opening on Broadway and reading the reviews that come out in the next morning's edition of the paper. Wouldn’t it be fun to be in the back of the chapel in which your eulogy is being given and in the end be there to greet everyone who has attended your wake? Remember Wally Shawn's The Designated Mourner? Why not be your own dedicated mourner?