Rants and reactions to contemporary politics, art and culture.
Friday, February 24, 2017
What Do Cars and People Have in Common?
What kind of person is the equivalent of a Cadillac Escalade?
There is no doubt that people are like cars. When you grow
older you become a used car. Used cars are just like people too. There are
some used cars which have amazing longevity. You’ve heard owners bragging their Maximum has l00,000 miles while there are others who complain about the
lemon they’ve been saddled with that’s had congenital problems from the first
day they brought it home from the showroom. When a car starts to cost more than its worth, it's time for a trade in and while few will admit to it, many feel the same way about loved ones whose illnesses make them a burden. Sometimes all your car needs is new
muffler say like person who requires a mouth device for their sleep apnea and
snoring. But for some cars the problem is more systemic.Owning a car with faulty air bags is the
equivalent of walking around with an incipient brain aneurysm and there are
cars with the equivalent of metastasizing cancers that usually begin in their
computerized ignition system. Naturally some problems are merely cosmetic. Some
cars like people simply need bodywork or a paint job which is the equivalent of
a face lift. Simonizing a car will definitely allow it to keep its sheen, but
there are some for whom the word waxing raising the hairs on their head. Back
in the days when life was simpler, kids talked about getting their first set of
wheels, which was a little like those nature documentaries when you see a foal
rise from the ground and start to walk on its own. Well, what is there to say?
A good car has legs and a healthy person is in for a long smooth ride.
Francis Levy's debut novel, Erotomania: A Romance, was released in August 2008 by Two Dollar Radio.
His short stories, criticism, humor, and poetry have appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The New Republic, The Village Voice, The East Hampton Star, The Quarterly, Penthouse, Architectural Digest, TV Guide, The Journal of Irreproducible Results, and other publications. One of his Voice humor pieces was anthologized in The Big Book of New American Humor (HarperCollins). He is presently the Co-Director of The Philoctetes Center for the Multidisciplinary Study of Imagination (philoctetes.org), where he supervises roundtable discussions on topics as varied as “The Psychology of the Modern Nation State” and “Modern Traffic Theory, Behavior, and Imagination”.