Rants and reactions to contemporary politics, art and culture.
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Pornosophy: Real Sex?
“Francion 15” by Martin van Maele
According to a recent episode of HBO’s Real Sex there are
many women who love to have their hair pulled during sex. The interview subject in question was so stimulated when her partner pulled her hair that she felt like screaming out that he should do it more. It was unclear if she was successful enough in disinhibiting herself during sex to be able express these feelings to him. Some of the women
interviewed also averred that they liked having collars put around their necks
and having their nipples pinched (or one would suppose twisted, sister!). However, there are many men whose wives
simply exclaim in an irate tone “you’re pulling my hair” when their husbands
try to employ this technique of lovemaking and there the foreplay ends. That’s
one of the built-in dangers of watching too much TV. How to explain these two
radically difference experiences of human sexuality? Is it simply a case of “different strokes for
different folks?” Or are there more
profound reasons why some women like to have their hair pulled during sex and while others do not? And do these reasons relate to the varying ways in which people
and women in particular process pain? For instance some women plainly love it.
They beg their husbands to spank them while others are prone to dial the
domestic abuse hotline after receiving a playful swat. Some women love to be
restrained while others love restraint. Naturally the self-same observations can
apply to men. There are men who love it when a woman or another man digs his or her fingernails into
their backs and others who have an aversion to being clawed at. If their significant other would like to rake leaves, let him or her go into the backyard. In
the end it may be safest to conclude that people are going to have different
experiences of sensation. For every person that likes to dominate there is
someone else who likes to be pushed around and that’s what makes horse races.
Francis Levy's debut novel, Erotomania: A Romance, was released in August 2008 by Two Dollar Radio.
His short stories, criticism, humor, and poetry have appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The New Republic, The Village Voice, The East Hampton Star, The Quarterly, Penthouse, Architectural Digest, TV Guide, The Journal of Irreproducible Results, and other publications. One of his Voice humor pieces was anthologized in The Big Book of New American Humor (HarperCollins). He is presently the Co-Director of The Philoctetes Center for the Multidisciplinary Study of Imagination (philoctetes.org), where he supervises roundtable discussions on topics as varied as “The Psychology of the Modern Nation State” and “Modern Traffic Theory, Behavior, and Imagination”.