The Erection: Myth or Reality?

When you think of it, the erection is an odd device, representing just a moment in the evolution of mammalian reproduction. This on-again off-again means by which insemination is facilitated requires the creation of stimulation, which is not a simple matter when it comes to the human being, who at any given moment may have other things on his mind. Some mammals become erect simply by virtue of pheromones, which are produced in anticipation of copulation, but in Homo sapiens the highly developed cerebral cortex complicates matters, creating the need for a state of temporary insanity that produces a nimbus around the potential object of desire. For some men, simply saying the word “French” will accomplish the job, opening a Pandora’s box of lingerie ads from Marie Claire and Elle, along with insinuating both French kissing and the possibility of fellatio, which is also known as a French. For others infatuation takes on a more tortuous course. The erection is also one of the odder-looking contraptions that nature has come up with. In some males with large endowments, it’s easy to mistake for a baseball bat, and there have been cases when erections are grabbed at by those who are stepping up to the plate. Oouuch! Erections also look like everything from towel racks to pastry rollers. Having an erection is a responsibility, since a hard-on is a weapon as well as a lovemaking aid, and there have been people and animals who have alternately been suffocated or torn apart when the protuberance is under the influence and begins the violent pumping mechanism that accompanies ignition, ending in happy inanition. The caveman’s club, immortalized by cartoon figures like Fred Flintstone, may be one of the most potent representations of the erection in the history of culture, but does it not augur the impending obsolescence of what will one day be deemed a historical footnote, the passing of which will only be lamented by the most  hardened of souls?